


The Coward Does It With A Kiss

by slinden



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anal Sex, Bad Flirting, Blow Jobs, I'm Sorry, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Slash, Threesome - M/M/M, look what you made me do, that's what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slinden/pseuds/slinden
Summary: A reluctant Force user is given the task of tracking down a Resistance pilot on the order of a Knight of Ren.Read the tags for warnings! And there's an explanation in the Notes.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Male Character(s), Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Male Character, Poe Dameron/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	The Coward Does It With A Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Ummm...if you are wondering who Grey is, he's an OC from Storm King (another one of my fics, see my other stuff and then check those tags). In that story, which is a modern AU, he's the bitchy, gay son of the Qui-Gon character so, here, we have to question if he's a failed clone or a distant relation but that's a mystery...
> 
> I really wanted to post something before I disappear into the radio silence that is teaching for the university term before I pop up again with a Storm King update. This was really the only complete thing I had and I don't want to start and then leave another WIP unfinished. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

The tingling feeling at the base of his neck shot to his temple and he was awake and moving in an instant, elbowing the being beside him in the process.

"Sorry but also not sorry," he said flatly, pulling on his trousers and reaching for his jacket and blaster.

The alien on the comfortable, pillow-filled pallet was still groaning as he turned and eyed the window.

The sensation to run became too overwhelming to ignore and he rolled his eyes at himself as he shot out the transparisteel with two quick blasts. He jumped without bothering to toss any creds on the floor after him. But it wasn't like he had any to begin with.

It was that sickly sweet feeling of flying and falling all at once as he plummeted the hundred or so metres to the ground, only bothering to catch himself at the last minute. He was too hungover to be fleeing for his life.

Landing roughly, he groaned and stumbled into the dirt. Kriffing fuck. Whoever was looking for his mind felt his rising panic and he tried to lock down his shields. He wasn't used to having a Force user closing in on him. It was even more annoying to sense that it was a very adept Force user. This wasn't some easily-swayed idiot who didn't realize they even had the Force. This being was clearly in command of what he was doing and he was fucking after him. 

Trying desperately to control his breathing, he sprinted down the dirty street from the whore's apartment to his ship. It wasn't that far but whoever was after him had already figured out where he was going.

Why the fuck hadn't he bothered to learn proper shielding? Oh wait, it was because every other Force user out there was a kriffing moron.

Rounding a corner around another building on the shitty, backwater outer-rim planet, he was almost there.

But almost didn't count.

His mind burnt as an invisible hand pushed him onto the gritty street, his bare chest catching the brunt of the fall. He'd be pulling gravel out of his skin for days if he lived through this.

Okay, whoever was after him wasn't there to play games.

Being flipped over and dragged to his feet, he desperately tried to hide any and all of the secrets in his head. So what if he had stolen weapons on the ship? So what if he had spice hidden back on Dantooine? So what if his ship had been appropriated by not-so-legal means from a Hutt? All of that had to go as he was reluctantly dragged to a gloved hand.

Windless, he was frozen in an instant as the man in the mask gripped his throat.

Okay, so it wasn't some bounty hunter.

It was the fucking First Order.

He was fully and truly _kriffed_.

"I felt you. Why did I feel you?" The First Order's resident rabid cur hissed at him from behind his pussy-ass mask.

"I don't know," he croaked out. "You were looking for a good time?"

The hand tightened. "Don't you know who I am?"

"Let me guess? Darth Vader?" If he was going to be pummelled into a pulp, he was going to do it gloriously.

The grip on his throat was released and he fell to the ground. The burning, rippling plasma blade of a lightsaber aimed at his head replaced the gloved hand. Taking a shaky breath, he wiped his mouth, looking from the red flame to the man who held it.

"You wear a kyber crystal on your neck. Where did you obtain it?" The man in the mask loomed over him, still trying to probe his mind.

He could feel how frustrated he was that he couldn't get in. So Grey smirked, despite the hissing weapon almost singeing his skin.

"I found it? I stole it? What answer would make you take that thing out of my fucking face?" He reflexively gripped his necklace. "If you want it, you'll have to take it off my fucking corpse."

The crackling lightsaber cut the air, grazing the top of his head. Whatever, it was fine. It only took off a few strands of the silver that streaked his dark hair. 

"You're already a corpse to me, smuggler."

"I prefer scumbag, but you do you." He pushed himself up to his elbows and eyed the man in black. Glancing down, he frowned at his elbow. “Hey, you made me rip my jacket.”

The feelings surging off of Kylo Ren hit him in waves as he let his focus drift. He was the first one to admit that his shielding was bad but this guy was giving everything away. He knew that he could sense him, he realized. He had to avoid giving in to the temptation to dip into his head. There was a gulf between their levels of training but he'd learned the hard way in how to manipulate the annoying gift that had been hanging over his head from the moment he had realized it was there. At least the Force was kind in one way: he hadn't been scooped up to be murdered in Luke Skywalker's loser school for idiots by the man who was currently looming over him. 

Ren tilted his head, drawing his lightsaber to his side. "The First Order has been looking for you. You've stolen from them several times."

He narrowed his eyes, dark eyebrows furrowing. "I thought you were First Order. What's this them shit?"

"That's none of your concern." Ren stepped back and killed his lightsaber.

He could hear the other man breathing and dared to push himself to his feet on the silent street. He couldn't even remember what kriffing planet he was on. And all of this was happening before daylight. Dusting off his pants, he sighed, earning a step forward from Ren.

"If it's none of my concern then why aren't I dead yet?" He wasn't about to let this fake Vader kill him without running his mouth first.

He sensed Ren was looking for something and realized too late that his blaster was in the dirt. It instantly snapped to Ren's hand and he inwardly cringed at himself. The sex hadn't even been _that_ good and now he was making too many mistakes to justify getting his dick wet.

"Maybe you can still be useful?" Ren turned the blaster in his hand, studying it. "Have you thought about that in your empty head?"

Okay. Ren wanted something. He was good at that. Or at least the ‘promising to get what people wanted’ part. He'd get bored halfway through and find something more worthwhile to do but that was beside the point.

"Yeah, sure." He reached for the button of his trousers. "A ship with a bed would be more comfortable, but if you want to do it here…"

Ren took a step back and he heard him inhale. The loose thoughts still floating around him bled over the temptation. 

So he did have a cock. Interesting.

"Stop," Ren hissed, the hilt of the lightsaber raised again. "I'm offering you a deal. Do you want it or do you want to die?"

"I always thought I'd die with my dick out so…" The rest of his remark was cut off by having the angry red blade thrust at his throat again. Rolling his eyes, he put up his hands. "Fine. What do you want?"

"A member of the Resistance. I want him brought to me." Ren's lightsaber remained level, nearly kissing his skin. "Discreetly."

Scoffing, he still managed to smirk. "The first part I can do. The last part will cost you."

He had no idea how he'd be able to find whoever Ren was looking for. But he caught the vision of a man: handsome enough, he guessed, with great hair despite being kind of short. Ren was thinking about that hair and the honey-toned skin. There was a hint of kissing the delicate throat of this mystery Resistance man, a memory that Ren cherished and should have kept locked up in his head. It shouldn't be so easily fished from his scattered mind.

And the second the thought ghosted across his mind, the lightsaber slashed him across the arm.

Hissing, he jumped back. It was just a burn but it kriffing stung like a motherfucker. "Stop being in my head!"

"Stop being in mine!" Ren shouted back.

Putting up his hands again, he clicked his tongue. "Okay. Truce, Uncle, whatever. What do I get if I get you who you want?"

"You get to live. That should be enough." Ren rose to his full height and he could sense that he was glaring at him from behind the mask. “You get to live your pathetic life for however many more years you’re able to _survive_.”

Okay, two could play at that game. The darksider was only a couple of inches taller. In a fair fight, he could probably take him. The crystal on his neck was pulsing from being so close to Ren and his weapon. He could probably figure out how to build a lightsaber if he put his mind to it, but there was always something else to do. And it wasn't like the plans for a lightsaber were widely available on the holonet. He could probably find them in some destroyed Jedi temple but there wasn't much there left to steal or salvage so it wasn't worth his time. Plus, those places gave him a headache.

"How about I get to live to get you what you want," he said, still daring to torment the other man. "And then, when I get him to you, I get some form of payment. Credits are good. Weapons are great. But a decent ship would be the best."

Ren extinguished his lightsaber and he could breathe again. The man was actually willing to make a deal. What fucking deity did he need to pray to now to show his fucking gratitude?

"If you want a ship, I can get you a ship. If you get me Poe Dameron."

He shrugged, feigning ignorance. "Yeah, sure. Who's that?"

"The best pilot in the Resistance," Ren answered. "You've already seen him in my mind. And you _know_ who he is. Can you get him for me?"

Another shrug. "Yeah, probably. What do I do when I get him? Just comm you and be like, 'Hey, First Order, can I get my ship now? Don't blow me up in the process?'"

He'd figured that much out. Ren was there alone. There were no Stormtroopers. There were no lights from ships hovering overhead and blasters weren't alienating the darkened, deserted buildings around him. Ren had sought him out for this.

He'd had close scrapes with the First Order before but he'd only caught the hint of Ren being there before making a quick exit. That's when he'd realized that the rumours that Ren was a Force user weren't full of shit. He'd sensed him and that had gone the other way too. The terror that the First Order was inflicting on the galaxy was only his concern when it started to hurt his bottom line. Sure, he was curious about Ren and all of his power, but he couldn't make a living on interest alone.

But it fucking bothered him that he couldn't see behind that mask.

"No," Ren answered, shifting his weight. "Bring him to Naboo." He shuddered instantly, making Ren tilt his head. "Do you have a problem with that, smuggler?"

"Nah, just bad memories of that place." Were they really that? They were just flashes of red and flames and a very angry tattooed face. "Yeah, sure. How much…how much time are you giving me here?"

"A standard week." Ren took a slow step towards him. "There is an apartment on the outskirts of Theed." Ren extended his hands, a communicator and his blaster resting on his outstretched palms. "You'll know where it is when you find it. Comm me from there."

He snatched the device and his weapon from the man. Fixing the weapon on his hip, he snorted. "You're making this sound easy."

Ren, in his stupid helmet, was still staring at him. The man dipped into his mind again and he grit his teeth, trying to fight him. "Well, it seems like you can do anything. So go do it." The pressure in his temples increased, the probe deepening. "Just don't do anything to him."

Shuddering, he finally tossed up some shields to keep Ren from his thoughts. "Can't I at least get him warmed up for you?"

" _No_ ," came the firm answer.

Okay, fine. "'Kay. If you want me to stay out of his pants, I want a good ship."

The vocoder hissed with menace. "Then we have a deal."

Without another word, Kylo Ren turned and stomped away.

Rolling his eyes, he called out. "Don't you even want to know my name?"

"No!"

He quirked his lips, feeling a full grin spread across his face. He knew exactly why Kylo Ren didn't want to know his name: all that fucking attachment bullshit the Jedi had once spouted. "It's Grey, by the way! Just so you know who's comming you!"

He got silence as an answer.

Maybe this was going to be fun.

-=-

Back on his shitshow ship, Grey shoved a wad of tabac under his lip and took a steadying breath. At least the planet he was on didn't bother to have anyone checking arrivals and departures for clearance. There were too many people like him there to bother trying to keep track of them. 

Playing with the kyber crystal on the chain around his neck, he set up for take-off, still feeling his mind whirling after the encounter with Ren. That fucking guy could fuck right off. As his engines sputtered to life, he swore and let go of the crystal to smash the dashboard. Why was today fucking with him so hard?

Finally, the ship lifted off the ground after another dose of swearing in Huttese.

"Kriffing fuck," he said to himself as he left the atmosphere, not sure where he was going.

Somewhere in the distance, he felt the tail-end of Kylo probing his mind one last time before the gulf of space would finally divide the connection.

"Fuck off!" he shouted both aloud and in his head. "I'll fucking get you what you want, you kriffing weirdo!"

Ren's thoughts snaked away into the blackness of space and he could finally exhale.

If the First Order and Ren himself couldn't find the Resistance, how in all of the Seven Sith Hells was he supposed to do it? Just flip a switch? All of his most recent schemes had blown up in his face so this was probably going to be a bigger challenge. He’d met the First Order more often in backwater cantinas than he did Resistance members so that wasn’t a place to start.

Sitting back, he set a random course and put his booted feet up. He hissed as he moved his arm, remembering the burn and the scorching sensation of Ren's 'saber. The moron couldn't even build one that worked properly. Now that he'd seen it up close, he guessed he could make one of his own. The constant weight around his neck reminded him that he'd come from something even if he didn't know exactly what it was.

His earliest memory was digging in the sandy garbage on Tatooine. By the time he was six, he'd realized that he could bluff people out of their money and belongings. He got by until he was tall enough to steal a ship and make it on his own. From there, between bouncing from one scheme to the next, he'd wound up with the spice runners on Kijimi before all of that went to hell. He'd managed to learn that most people wanted what had always been hanging around his neck for some reason if he didn't convince them it wasn't what it looked like.

Kylo sure as shit knew what it was.

Hm.

Vague memories of Kijimi stirred something in the back of his head.

Those same eyes in a much younger face had been there. Fucking Resistance poster-boy Dameron had been a spice runner. A distant vision of a firm hand on his shoulder, helping him out of a jam when he'd been a kid, flashed in his mind and he grinned.

Ren must have found this memory before he did.

So all he had to do was call up his old buddy Poe and somehow get him to Naboo. Of all of the fucking planets in the galaxy, Ren had to pick there. Something about that place gave him the creeps. Ren had probably figured out what the problem was but that fucker wasn't about to be kind and enlighten him.

He raked his hand through his hair and sighed. One thing at a time. His thoughts were all over the place and he needed to settle them.

And he knew a good way to do it.

Stroking his throat, he felt another shiver at the memory of having a hand cut off his breathing in that deliciously violent way. It was firm and it was humanoid. Whatever was behind that mask, however mutilated and ruined that face was, he could at least remember the sensation of nearly being strangled by those huge hands.

Replaying the encounter in his mind, staring out into hyperspace, his hand dipped down to his bare chest. He flicked off some of the dirt and then kept working to his goal. The creature he'd fucked earlier had got him off but memories of Ren's hand and how he'd filled out those black trousers with his muscular thighs were already making him more turned on than that quick fuck had gotten him. His hangover was almost behind him at that point but he still paused to gently push the lingering heaviness from temples. If everyone had the Force, the Galaxy would have far fewer suffering people. 

Reaching down, he sighed as he dipped his hand into his trousers to start stroking himself.

Ren wanted to fuck Dameron.

That part had been made loud and clear.

Maybe if he turned down the ship that Ren was _supposed_ to give him, Grey would be allowed to watch.

He moaned into his empty cockpit, undoing his pants to give himself more room to get himself off.

The vision that Ren had given him was of a man he cherished and hadn't fucked yet. He wanted to bend him over and shove what Grey guessed was a sizable cock into his tight ass. He could picture Dameron's strangled moans as Ren put his hand around his throat, choking him as he fucked him.

His strokes got quicker as he pictured the pace that Ren would fuck him. The sounds would almost be enough to get him off. Maybe he could hide in the next room in Kylo Ren's Nubian fuckpad.

Dameron was going to get fucked and would be fighting how good it was the entire time. He'd be screaming ‘no’ from that sweet mouth that Ren was still thinking about even though it must have been years since he'd seen him. Ren's grip would tighten, telling him to come for him as he would pick up the pounding.

Ren would make him come in time with his own orgasm.

Picturing Ren spilling into Poe's ass made him come hard on his stomach and console in lazy spurts.

"Fuck," he said to no one, smearing his come up his chest. The lingering heat made his chest heave again until he could calm his breathing. Jerking off was okay, but fucking was better. He lazily traced one finger to his nipple and shuddered again. "But do I want him to fuck him with or without the mask on?"

Slumping down in the tattered pilot's seat, he sighed as the lingering warmth of his orgasm flitted away.

He had to find Dameron to make that fantasy happen.

Okay, fine.

Wiping his hand on his trousers, he put his dick away and sighed. He'd use the fresher later to clean up.

Drumming the console, he tried to figure out how to get Dameron to come to him. That would be so much easier than actually looking for him.

"If I were out trying to be a hero of the galaxy, what would make me come running?" He thought, smearing his semen over the controls. He lazily wrote his name, the one that was engraved on the crystal. "This shouldn't be that hard."

-=-

A shower, some ale, and several blowjobs on three different planets later, he was finally nudged in the right direction. He could have just stolen the information from his sources’ heads but he figured he'd get something out of it at the same time and maintain his reputation as a galactic slut. 

The Resistance had been spotted doing low-key recruitment on Hosnian Prime, only a couple of days ago. Too easy.

Getting close to the capital of the New Republic was a bit trickier. He’d been a part of a failed kidnapping attempt on a Senator from Botor a couple of years ago that got a bunch of aides killed so there was probably still a price on his head. And he would be endlessly disappointed if there wasn’t, even if it would make things easier.

Dropping out of hyperspace, he took a deep breath and made himself focus. He had already lost a day and he didn’t want to keep Ren waiting. If this turned out to be a dead-end, he'd be on an even tighter deadline. 

When it came to tracking down the things he wanted, he’d learned as a youngling that his feelings could guide him. Since he'd been forced to teach himself every-fucking-thing, it didn't always work right. Sometimes he'd miss a freighter filled with armaments by a couple of days or end up in the wrong system; it was endlessly frustrating when things didn't work. But about half of the time, he'd be able to pick off some shipment of fuel or guns without having to fire a shot. That would usually get him enough in trade to be able to treat himself to the high life on a place like Canto Bight until he burnt through all of his earnings and got the boot. It was a miserable life when it all dried up but it was his own. He was never going to end up on someone’s payroll permanently. He’d be a part of the occasional collaboration for a huge score but he was a true free agent. A scumbag. A scoundrel. A liar and a thief. Even if he didn’t have the Force, he would have taken this path because it was fun.

Shutting his eyes, he exhaled and let the Force guide where he was meant to go. The brief taste of Ren’s power almost made it simpler to tap into the invisible flow of the galaxy.

In the sea of stars, planets, ships, and life that filled the galaxy, he needed to find one vaguely familiar being from his past.

He locked in on the memory of a kind smile and encouraging words, despite the graveness of the situation they were in at the time, of a then teenager, now a man, he hadn’t seen in well over a decade, hells it was more like fifteen years. He’d only been eleven at the time and Poe had looked at him like a little brother, making sure he got enough food and the safest place to sleep. Grey, of course, played it up, getting Poe to give him everything he wanted. Poe had been the one to take the blame when a great deal of spice “disappeared” on one run. Grey had just secretly found a better deal and sold it right from under their bosses’ noses. And Poe and his idiotic noble attitude meant that he took the fall and the punishment.

Grey should _probably_ feel bad about that.

Maybe he would one day.

Eventually.

Maybe on his deathbed.

His hands were moving on their own and plotted a course, swiftly punching the ship into hyperspace. It didn’t matter that his drive was rattling and whining like crazy. That was all part of the plan.

The ship dropped out after a quick jump and the drive was truly angry with him now. Grabbing a metal rod from behind his seat, he strode down the hall to the engine room, whistling as he moved.

Gripping the rod, he started bashing the rattling engine. Sparks flew and smoke eventually started pouring out. After one more hard strike from the rod, flames ignited.

Humming to himself, he went back to the cockpit. The ship started rattling and he put his feet up on the console and hit the comm.

“This is an open call on all channels for help! Oh Gods, help me! My ship is damaged! I’m going to burn up in here!” he shouted, his voice panicked and shaky even as he leaned back in his chair, balancing the rod on one end on his palm. “Is anyone receiving this transmission?! Help! This is a distress call!”

He knew he wasn’t in the wrong place, but it was annoying to have to sit and _wait_ as more of his ship burned up.

“Unknown ship, this is Black Squadron. We see you. Can you get to your escape pod?” Dameron’s voice made him shiver with pure delight. He sounded older but it was him.

“Yeah, yeah I think I can. It’s just a basic one but I can lock onto your ships. Can you guide me away from this hunk of junk before it blows?” He stood up, letting the rod clatter to the floor. “I’ll head there right now. Can you stay on this frequency?”

“Sure thing, buddy. We’ll take care of you.”

“In more ways than one,” he mumbled under his breath as he grabbed his mobile comm. “Roger that! I’ll see you soon.”

He snatched up his backpack, with Ren’s comm device safely tucked inside, and quietly said goodbye to his ship as he made the short sprint to the escape pod. It had served him well the last few years but he’d be getting a new one soon enough. Climbing inside the pod, he let the lid slide shut before he lifted his hand and remotely hit the release with a short wave and touch of the Force.

The pod dropped into the inkiness of space and his mind was filled with the thoughtful concern of Dameron’s kind heart and the scattered thoughts of the other pilots. He spotted the x-wings circling him, helping to propel him to some sort of safety. Hopefully, the Resistance had good food because he realized he'd left an uneaten sandwich on his ship. Fuck, he could be eating it right now.

“There she goes,” his comm sounded. “Wow, buddy, we got you out of there just in time.”

He rolled his eyes. He’d gotten himself out of there. “You have no idea how thankful I am. How am I ever going to repay you?”

“Hey, it’s no problem. We’ll figure something out. We’ll take you to our command ship. Sit tight. We’ll be there soon.” Dameron sounded so pleased with himself for doing the most basic thing in the universe: helping someone else. Just because it was beneath Grey to do the same didn’t mean he didn’t understand how the concept worked.

The action was about to start. He lightly dropped into his thoughts, steeling himself. It was sometimes overwhelming to be surrounded by too many people. He could already feel the wealth of thoughts ahead of him and needed to focus on his goal.

The pod scraped the landing strip of the ship and he covered his ears at the whine as he skidded to a stop. All right, time to rise and shine and meet the glory.

Punching open the hatch, he sat up and forced the most thankful smile he could manage as he swept his hair back.

Because climbing out of one of the x-wings that surrounded him, was Poe Dameron. Older, sure, but he was too. At least Poe’s hair wasn’t turning silver but he thought the curls would still look charming even if they did.

Getting to his feet and climbing out of the pod, he hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and grinned at him. “Hey, I thought I recognized your voice.”

The remark earned him a winning smile and Poe hopped down the last few steps of the ladder and sprinted right at him. The embrace was as warm and strong as he distantly remembered when they’d parted years ago.

“Grey! You’re still alive!” Poe’s voice was overjoyed. “How’d you end up here? I never thought I’d see you again. Did you ever grow up and into yourself!”

He’d been a skinny little twelve-year-old kid when they’d parted. Now, he was taller than Poe and definitely more man than boy.

Running his hand on the other man’s arm, gripping his elbow lightly, Grey tilted his head to give him a warm look, lightly pressing on him with the Force. But he found he didn’t need to dig deep to feel that Poe was already attracted to him. “So did you! I can’t believe it’s really you. What a surprise. Guess you did end up being a pilot, huh?”

"Yeah, it was all I've dreamed about. Now I command my a squadron and get to fly around, blowing stuff up." Dameron glanced at his hand but didn't remove it. This was going to be too easy. He might not even have to mindbluff him to fuck him. “And I work for the good guys so it’s totally acceptable to blow stuff up.”

Ren could go eat a dick if he thought that Grey wasn’t going to get a taste of Poe first.

That smile, those arms, those hips. And he’d been able to play the hero. Grey could probably go down on him right then and there and he wouldn’t say no. Fucker was probably half hard in his flight suit.

He moved to step forward but faked a stumble, making Poe catch him.

“Whoa there. You’re a little shaken up with your ship, you know, exploding and all. Let’s get you to the medbay.” Poe put a steadying arm on his back and turned to call to the rest of his squadron that he’d be taking care of their wayward charge.

Listening to him use a commander’s voice was a real turn on. No wonder Ren was after him.

Force it was going to feel good to sleep in the man’s bunk that night.

-=-

The meddroid checked him out, applying Bacta to the healing lightsaber wound and a couple of other scratches and scrapes he’d been too lazy to heal himself. They let him clean himself off, all while he listened to Poe explain his entire life history up until that point. Flying for the Republic, feeling like their freedom was going to be snuffed out by the First Order, joining the Resistance, getting his own squadron, bla bla bla.

Pulling on the clean shirt he’d been offered, Grey smiled at him. “So you left ‘spice runner’ off of your application when you signed up?”

Poe blushed. “Yeah, I…I don’t talk about those days. Not really”

Grey winked at him. “Then we don’t have to talk about ‘em. They were pretty dark times and we can just be thankful that we got out of there with all of our limbs still attached."

The droid whirled away, leaving them by the medbed. Its work was done so away it went to find someone else to prod.

“What were you doing out here, Grey?” Poe asked, stepping closer. “We, um…the call sign of your ship had it marked as stolen.”

Ah fuck, _that_. “That’s just my former boss being a dick to me. I earned that ship fair and square and he promised I could take it when…when I finished my last job for him. I was trying to…” How could he play this up? He bit his lip and lowered his gaze. “I was trying to go straight, you know? Like you did. I’ve always thought about the last thing you said to me before you left. I couldn’t keep living that life but I got stuck in it for too long. I thought if I came to the Republic I’d…I’d be able to live a real life and not just be a scumbag.”

A kind hand landed on his shoulder and he looked into Poe’s eyes. “The hardest part is getting out and getting started. The Resistance is my family now and we take care of one another. We can give you a good start here while you figure things out.”

A quick dip into Poe’s mind told him that he’d bought the sob story.

He rested his hand on top of Poe’s and quietly nudged his mind. “Maybe you can show me to your quarters so I can get some rest while you do the rest of your…pilot stuff.”

“Sure thing, buddy.”

So, with Poe’s irritating droid rolling after them, he was taken exactly where he wanted to go.

-=-

It didn’t take him long to get bored in Poe’s cramped cabin. He’d already gone through the few possessions that he’d found there and decided that he was hungry. He was still regretting that stupid sandwich as he wandered the halls, offering small smiles to anyone he met but quickly convincing them that he belonged there.

Fingering his necklace, he wandered into the mess hall when he felt an annoying tingle on the back of his neck. There was another Force user there that had a very similar aura to Ren but lacked his confliction and darkness. This one was more regal and self-assured. Feminine too.

Ah, _shit_.

He tucked the kyber crystal under his shirt and quickly bolted from the mess, scurrying back to Dameron’s quarters and ducking inside.

Shielding. Fucking _shielding_.

She was looking for him now.

Okay.

Sitting down on the bunk, he ruffled his hair and tucked his secrets in the back of his mind. At least he’d been able to change his clothes. She would have probably been able to smell Ren on him if he hadn’t changed.

The door chimed and he exhaled as he stared at it.

Two more chimes made him shut his eyes in frustration, trying to make himself invisible to her.

But the door finally opened and there was Leia Organa, holding a tray of food.

“You left the mess hall without getting any lunch. I thought you might be hungry.” She met his eyes directly and he almost cowered under her gaze. “I didn’t know Commander Dameron had a guest on board. Were you our unscheduled landing?”

“Um, yeah,” he said, slowly reaching to accept the food as he held back rolling his eyes. “He sort of helped me out of a jam when my ship was, you know, exploding.”

Sitting on the bed, he stared at the offering before shoving a bread roll in his mouth. She was still standing there as he chewed on it.

“The ship you stole, you mean?” She stepped further inside, dropping next to him on the bunk and frustrating him beyond belief. "Don't think that I don't know you're up to something…"

“Grey,” he offered, still chewing on the bread. “Name’s Grey.”

He swallowed as she narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s that on your neck?” She reached over, pulling out the crystal from its hiding place. She raised an eyebrow as he shrugged.

“I don’t know. I won it in a game of sabacc.” He pressed hard on the lie, hoping that it would stick.

“Yes. I’m _sure_ that you did.” She let the crystal go and leaned back. “When Poe gets back, I think the three of us are going to have to have a very long conversation.”

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” He met her eyes and tried to smile. “So, you know where to find me.”

She gave him one last stern look before leaving him alone, the door snapping shut behind her.

“Fucking bitch,” he said before popping a piece of fruit into his mouth.

Even though the encounter put everything in jeopardy, he had another piece of the Ren puzzle.

Maybe the rest of the galaxy hadn’t figured it out yet, but somehow Leia Organa and Kylo Ren were related.

Hm.

-=-

He was asleep when Poe got back. Despite having to watch his back for Organa, it was a perfect opportunity to get comfortable under the light sheets of Poe's bunk.

“Hey, sorry I was out there so long. We ran into some trouble with those bastards in the First Order and had to be out there a little while longer than we expected. But I brought dinner." Poe put two trays on the low table across from the bed and raised the lights. "Get enough rest? You probably needed it. I remember I slept for a week when I got home to my dad's after Kijimi. I just woke up to eat and then I slept even more.”

“Yeah.” He yawned, stretching. He felt Poe’s eyes studying his bare shoulders, admiring how the muscles shifted with every move. “And your bed is really comfortable.”

He moved the sheets and watched Poe’s eyes dart directly to the trays on the table. “Must have been pretty comfortable since you didn’t bother to put on any clothes.”

“Huh?” He faked ignorance as he stood up, stretching again. “Oh yeah. This is how I sleep, but I can put something on if it bothers you...”

He let the hot pause settle in his chest as he quirked his head.

"Nah, it's fine. I was in the navy. It goes with the territory." Poe snapped his eyes to his. They were soft and brown, but the pulse that he felt from Poe told him so much more. Even as Grey sat across from him, dragging the tray and fork closer, he took in how open he was with his feelings. It was a compact table in the small room but it was almost cozy know that he had food in front of him. The company was also not bad. “So yeah, the general said she ran into you. Just so you know, I’ve smoothed things over. You don’t have to worry about her. I just played up some of your good sides because I think everyone deserves a second chance. We can give you a good home here, if you give us a shot. It’s like this, I know that getting out of that life can really wear on how much you can trust people. But we’re really good at taking care of people. It’s a hard life here too but we’re fighting for what’s right and what we believe in. We could use a person like you.”

“Someone who could fire a blaster before he could walk?” Grey smirked, starting to eat the offered stew on his tray. “Hey, this is pretty good. Did you make it?”

“Nah, this isn’t a Dameron family recipe.” Poe grinned. “That’s another thing we’ve got: pretty good cooks.”

“Pretty good pilots too.” He lowered his lashes, smirking at him.

Poe’s grin got broader. “Yeah, we’re the best.”

"I heard around that you were the best pilot in the galaxy. I could see that when we were kids. You had all of those skills and I just had…my mouth." He was hinging on honesty here and had to look away, picking up another bread roll and starting to shred it. He was supposed to be flirting his way into bed, not actually _feeling_ something.

“Grey,” Poe said, reaching out to stop his fidgeting. “We can talk about it. I feel…I’ve felt bad for years that I didn’t do more to help you get out of there. You were just a kid and no one should have been using you that way. Do you hear me? I saw how often you disappeared with someone and…”

Now he was mad. He didn’t need anyone pitying him. He’d done all of those things more than willingly. “I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me, Poe. You don’t…I mean…” He lightly pulled away and frowned. He needed to figure out how to spin this. “It’s something that happened. And why I had to get out of there and fly straight for a bit.”

Poe nodded, worry still shining on his face. "Hey, I'll give you time to figure out how to talk about it. I'm here for you. I'm here to listen to you. I couldn't help you then but I can help you now. And so can everyone else in the Resistance. Everyone has a backstory here that they might not be proud of but no one is going to judge you." He sat back and reached into the pocket of his jumpsuit. "I brought a couple of bottles of ale if that takes some of the edge off."

That perked him up out of whatever shame had started to rise in his heart. “I guessed you were holding out on me.”

Poe’s smile almost knocked him off his chair. He had to get himself under control.

He managed to keep the conversation on what Poe had been doing over the years and it wasn’t actually boring for once, making small talk. He was getting plenty of bits of information about him that he’d be able to use after he’d delivered him to Ren and had his new ship. His mouth was so pretty. It was a shame that Ren was going to ruin it. It was better that he show Poe some softness before he’d become Ren’s fucktoy.

And it had been a while since he’d let someone fuck him. At least then he wouldn’t _exactly_ be lying to Ren.

Poe was yawning by the time he started to run out of things to say. His droid was quiet in the corner, recharging.

Now was his chance.

“I think it’s time for bed,” he said, pushing their empty trays and bottles aside. “I can put on some clothes and take the floor if you get me an extra blanket. I’ve had worse sleeping arrangements over the years.”

He’d purposely left his hands on the table.

And, of course, Poe reached out, brushing his fingers across his knuckle. "I'm not about to make you sleep on the floor after the day you've had. After the _life_ you’ve had. The bed is kind of small but I think we can make it work.” And then he raised his eyebrows. “The walls are also soundproof. Nobody can hear a thing.”

“Oh yeah?” He leaned in closer, feeling warmth instantly rush to his dick. He wasn’t even _making_ him flirt with him. “Guess you saw something you liked when I got out of bed?”

“I just saw you, Grey.” Poe lowered his voice, stroking his hand up Grey’s arm. “I think I missed you. I’ve thought about you a lot over the years, hoping you were okay. I wish I would have come back for you because you were just a kid and…”

“Hey,” he said, taking Poe’s hand. He brought it to his mouth, planting a light kiss on his knuckle. “I’m not a kid anymore. And I got out. And you’re going to help me be who I want to be.” He saw Poe’s pupils dilate and he knew he had him. Still holding Poe’s hand, Grey brought his palm to rest against his cheek. “I guess I missed you too.”

He saw what Poe was going to do before he did and quickly leaned over, into the heavy, heated kiss. Poe’s other hand came up and cupped his face. Soft lips. So soft. Grey shivered as the kiss deepened, opening his mouth to the other man’s tongue. He could feel Poe’s pulse in his hands and his own heart started racing in time with it. He had to get him out of that ridiculous jumpsuit.

Not breaking the kiss, Grey pushed up from the chair. Poe's arms came around him in an instant, skin meeting fabric. He felt Poe's light nails gripping his back and poured more of himself into the kiss, nipping lightly at Poe's lips. That earned him a gasp and a hand around his cock. Poe really didn't mess around, stroking him firmly, getting him hard in an instant. Grey nipped at his neck, reaching to start undoing the jumpsuit. He needed to be just as naked _now._

“You’re going to need help with that,” Poe quipped. Grey ignored him, kissing down his exposed throat. “I’m going to need to let go so I can…so I can yeah. Show you how much I missed you.”

The hand around his cock stilled and he pouted at losing the attention. “I want to show you how thankful I am that you saved me today. Seeing you in that x-wing was a real turn on. My handsome pilot, out there saving lives.”

“I’m all yours, Grey.” Poe was smiling again, quickly working to unzip and slip out of the jumpsuit. Seeing the civies underneath was Grey’s chance to help him. He slipped the shirt over Poe’s head and was rewarded with a firm chest and tight stomach. Ren wouldn’t want him if he wasn’t beautiful so, of course, he'd look like a dream. Running his hands down Poe's smooth chest, he flicked a brown nipple to hardness. "Yeah, keep doing that. Keep putting your hands on me."

Grey kissed him again, trailing his hands down his torso to rest on his soon-to-be lover’s hips. Poe was latching onto his mouth with a fierceness that was making him weak. _Please_ let him have a nice cock too. It would be such a disappointment if he took off his trousers and got a thumb. He’d still fuck himself on it but it would take some work to make Poe believe he was enjoying it.

When he did get his pants off, he took in the sight with greedy eyes. “Force.”

“Yeah?” Poe raised an eyebrow and gently guided him onto the bed, straddling him. Their friction between their erections hit Grey and he moaned as Poe started grinding on him. This was better than any lap dance from a Twi’lek whore. And he wasn’t even paying for it.

Okay, he hadn’t paid that girl _either_ but that was beside the point.

“Kriff, you're beautiful." Grey could take him in now. Just the tone of his skin and the curve of his ass had his head spinning with want. "I can see why…"

He snapped his mouth shut. He'd almost slipped up there. Because he could see why Ren wanted him. Those honest eyes and strong jaw. The firm legs and gorgeous cock. He gripped Poe closer, surging up to kiss him again to stop him from asking what the hell he was about to say.

"'Can see why' what?" Poe quickly broke the kiss and his hips stilled. “Come on, you’ve got me curious now. Don’t keep secrets when you’ve got me in your lap. I won’t do anything until you tell me.”

Ugh. Poe could match him in a ‘who can keep talking the longest until you want to punch him in the face’ competition. “Can see why I’ve been dreaming about you since I was twelve and you walked out of my life.”

Poe sat back, reaching out to run his hand on the kyber around his neck. His light tone vanished, his eyes turning thoughtful suddenly. “I’m not going to walk out on you now. I promise with all of my heart. I swear on my x-wing.”

Sighing, Grey shut his eyes. This was just part of the job, he told himself. Get Poe hooked on him, convince him to get to Naboo, and then leave him to Ren. The clock was ticking. After tonight, he’d only have three days left. _Two_ if he counted how fucking long it took to get to kriffing Naboo if they didn’t get a decent ship.

Planting a light kiss just above Poe's left nipple, he felt another part of himself slip. "Make love to me, Poe. Take away all of the things that were done to me over the years."

“Grey,” Poe said, tipping his chin up to plant a light kiss on the tip of his too-big nose. “I’d love to do that. I’ll be right back. Get comfortable and then…then I’ll get to work showing you what love is.”

He nodded, shutting his eyes again. He only peaked his eyes open to ogle Poe’s ass for a moment. Ren was going to _destroy_ that.

Shifting up the bed, he sighed to himself as he started gently working his shaft. He was already painfully hard and just thinking about what was under Ren’s robes, and how he was going to force himself into Poe’s body until he screamed, was going to get him off before Poe could fuck him if he didn’t stop thinking about it.

The lights dimmed and he sucked in a breath, putting his hands at his side as he drummed his fingers lightly in anticipation.

He felt a spike of lust from the other man as he rifled through the small fresher. He also felt nerves and a deep sensation of how long it had been since he'd been with someone he felt something real for. Poe wanted to save him. But he was also worried this was happening too fast.

Grey sent a slight push of reassurance and that got him out of the fresher and back near him. He reached out his hand and Poe brushed his fingers against his palm as he walked by.

Poe knelt on the opposite end of the bed, coating his dick with lube as he studied Grey’s body. Yeah, he was lanky but he had muscles in the parts that counted. He watched Poe lick his lips as he eyed his cock. Yeah, that part was getting Poe going too. It was almost a shame Grey had already decided that he was going to follow Ren’s orders, well a _version_ of them from his perspective. There always had to be a twist, after all. He’d love to get balls deep in the man who was about to fuck him but he could leave that all for Ren.

Shifting up the bed, Poe nudged his legs apart, trailing his fingers lightly along his inner thigh. “I need to see your face. You’re so beautiful, Grey. I haven’t been able to get those blue eyes out of my head. Your eyes, your face and now, Gods, your body. I can’t believe you’re really here.” Poe traced his hand up his stomach, teasing him by passing over his dick. “Are you ready for me? Do you think you can take all this?”

He knew he could. He’d had even bigger dick before but he wasn’t about to say that and kill the mood. “I just want you to take the pain away.”

Poe was between his legs, stroking his thighs again. “Then I’m going to give you exactly what you want.”

Grey took a deep breath as Dameron’s strong hands lifted his feet over his shoulders, settling between his legs. He held his breath, waiting for him to start fucking him. But, instead, he slowly felt a digit coated in lube tease his entrance open. Ah, fuck, Poe was going to be _gentle_ . He was going to go _slow._

Fine. He could find a way to enjoy this.

“Can I touch myself while you get me ready?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I want to see you enjoy yourself. I want all of this to feel perfect for you.” Poe’s voice dropped and Grey felt a second finger work inside. “You’re so tight. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Should he tell him that he _liked it_ when it hurt? Nah, not right then. He felt the fingers working inside of him, gently stretching him open with tender care. "I can take more. Get me all set for you."

A third finger joined the first two and Poe finally brushed his prostate, making him moan in surprise.

“Oh, so that’s where it was hiding?” Poe kept going, teasing the bundle of nerves with careful finger work. “I was wondering where it was.”

He almost laughed. “I think I forgot how much you talk.”

“I never forgot how much _you_ talked,” Poe shot back, withdrawing his fingers. “Ready for me?”

Grey nodded, biting his lip as they locked eyes.

And then his head sagged back as he felt the head of Poe's cock start to work inside of him. The other man grunted lightly, guiding himself into Grey's body. Each inch made him groan as Poe gently pushed inside of him. It was achingly slow but the stretch and slight burn were worth the pace.

Poe let out a low moan when he was fully inside of him. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Grey said, his voice already shaky. “That’s what we’re doing.”

That earned him a soft chuckle as Poe started working his hips, slowly starting to lunge into him.

And then the pace picked up and Grey’s body instantly lit up with pure warmth.

“It was…” Poe gasped in between soft grunts. “It was hard to hold back.” Hands gripped his hips, pulling him closer. Grey had been too blissed out for a moment before his brain kicked back in. Poe _really_ had to like fucking him by the time their days together were over. He’d have to start giving him something more than everyone else he’d ever taken to bed. He started thrusting his hips in time with him, earning a truly erotic moan from the man above him. “Fuck. Grey. Yeah. Just like that.”

Poe shifted and his dick started hitting his prostate directly, building the pressure in his stomach and making him see stars with each strike. He didn't want him to stop and kept matching his pace, getting him in _deeper_.

Poe's hand wrapped around his dick and Grey called out several swears in Huttese. Thank the Gods that no one could hear this. Poe was matching him in the sounds he was making as bliss and heat took over his body. The stroking and the thrusting. Poe fucked better than professionals. Maybe that was something Ren would be into once he’d broken Poe’s mind. He’d better not hurt that sweet cock too much because it felt fantastic having it inside of him.

He heard Poe’s voice start to hitch and quickly slipped into his head, amping up the coming orgasm by lightly sending the same feelings that were coursing through his veins. The tightness. The sensation of having his prostate thoroughly stimulated. The feeling of a hand around his dick, skilfully getting him to the tipping point.

“Holy fuck, _Grey_.” Poe’s hand started to falter. “I’m going to come. Are you ready?”

He didn’t want it to stop but he could feel that he’d brought the man as close to the brink as he dared to go at that point.

“Yes. Gods, yes!” he shouted as he stole some of Poe’s thoughts for his own, pushing himself to orgasm.

The second Poe climaxed, Grey followed him into the fireworks that surged behind his eyes.

He was pretty sure his come hit the ceiling because he didn’t even feel it on his chest.

Taking steadying breaths, Poe kissed his calf. “I think we finally shut each other up.”

“Yeah.” He looked up and grinned, thriving off of the delicious feeling still bubbling in his chest. “Yeah, I think we did.”

Slowly, Poe pulled out with a dull hiss. “Come on, let’s go clean up.”

He let the other man guide him to the fresher. He activated the sonic shower and Grey was rewarded with a hot, wet Poe Dameron kissing him. Small waves of post-orgasmic bliss hit him with each second their mouths were locked. Poe ran his hands up and down his body, learning every spot that would make him shiver.

Wrapping his arms around Poe, Grey tucked his chin on his shoulder, breathing him in. “I’ve never felt like this about someone before.” Grey cringed to himself as the words slipped out of his mouth. More truth was coming out now that he’d just came.

Poe stepped back, his damp curls clinging to his forehead. “Hey, me too, Grey. And I’m not going anywhere.”

 _Oh, but you will_ , Grey thought as he reached out to brush the hair back. “Promise?”

Leaning up, Poe kissed him lightly. “Absolutely. You have my word.”

When they were dried off, back in bed, and in one another’s arms, Grey watched the other man fall asleep instantly. Even in his sleep, the other man made soft noises that were enchanting.

“Fuck,” Grey hissed to himself. “ _Fuck_.”

-=-

Poe made him meet his squadron. Grey never had to try to be charming but the day after the night before had taken some of the shine off of his personality. They seemed nice enough, like they’d actually miss their commander if he went away. He leaned against an x-wing, watching them go through the plans for a new formation they were going to try out when they were on patrol that morning.

They had shown up almost late to the briefing, absorbed in one another in the shower. When he was on his knees, Poe’s dick in his mouth as he tasted and teased him to completion, he’d looked up and tried to deny his feelings one more time, but gave up the second Poe’s semen spilled down his throat. He tasted vaguely sweet, like nothing else in the galaxy. And his jaw didn’t even hurt like it usually did.

He didn’t even bother to use the Force to make himself come too, only tapping into the delicate hands of the man he was blowing.

Poe’s droid rolled up to him, bumping into his leg and breaking the memory. Grey raised an eyebrow at the droid. “What’s your problem?”

He took two steps back. The droid followed, bumping him again.

Poe glanced up from his datapad. "Hey, Beebee-Ate, what's going on?"

The string of beeps from the orange orb didn’t sound like happy chirps.

“Nah, he’s okay, buddy. Don’t give him a hard time.” Poe finished talking to his droid and his eyes flicked to him, sending his heart fluttering. “You okay over there? Don’t listen to a thing he says, Grey. Keep doing your thing.”

Grey nodded, not trusting himself to blurt out something stupid if he opened his mouth. He had been so close that morning to saying three words he’d swore he would _never_ say. Cuddling in bed, Poe kept whispering kind things about him and Grey had been fully brought into his charms. Okay, he needed something else to do other than getting bitched at by a droid while the pilots strategized. He started strolling around the hanger, eyeing the equipment. He had probably smuggled at least a few of the parts and weapons that filled the space. Shit, maybe Ren would actually pay for this information. The Resistance was really building up their arsenal with every First Order attack and occupation. They were going to be able to match them in a fight but not a long one.

He glanced over his shoulder, studying Poe’s x-wing from afar. It would be a real shame if that got blown up. Especially if its owner was inside.

The droid could be in it.

But not Poe.

 _Shit_.

He turned away, kicking lightly at a dirty rag on the ground. Isn’t _that_ something a droid should be picking up?

Maybe he should have waited to find Poe. Maybe he didn’t realize how _easy_ it would be to track him down. Just not stomping around in a mask and having a talented mouth had led him right to him. If Ren had stopped and used his head, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He could still have been piloting his junker ship, trying to find something new to swipe, some new person to rob or swindle, or something or someone _new t_ o fuck.

This was why he didn’t work with others. Some people depended on a partner, a co-pilot. He stuck to ships he could pilot himself or only briefly worked with someone else’s crew. And then, once he’d fucked his way through it, the leader would kick him out for causing so much chaos. All of those times had been fun and games, fucking with people’s heads and hearts.

People fell in love with _him_.

He didn’t fall in love with _people_.

Huffing, he sat down on the step of a repair cart, hardly registering as two astro-droids scurried away. There was a hole in one of his boots. Frowning at the toe he could see slightly peaking out, he dropped his chin.

He needed to get his head together and think practically. He just had to make it through today and tomorrow, getting Poe to fall in love with him. By then, he'd have convinced him to take a little break with him and whisk him away on a romantic journey to beautiful fucking Naboo with its waterfalls, rolling fields, and goddamn giant power station complexes.

Kriff did he _hate_ that place. And he'd never even _been_ there. But seeing it in holos had always made him shudder and get up to shut it off, no matter how hungover or comfortable he was.

Two hands landed on his shoulders. If he hadn't already sensed who it was, he would have jolted. Instead, he just leaned up as Poe started massaging him.

Poe kissed his forehead, suddenly making him feel like the centre of the galaxy without having to lift a finger. “We’re heading out. We need to try out the new formation. Need to get the kinks out. It seems like everybody gets it or at least _say_ they get it, but I trust them. It’s going to be a lot of work but I think that we can get it down in one afternoon if we work hard at it. The other squadron can take care of patrols today. The First Order has been quiet today so we can…we can have some time together. Getting to know one another better and all that.”

Inside, Grey could guess that Ren was behind the relative calmness on that front. He didn’t want his pilot to get blown up before he could get to him.

“I think I’d like that.” He smiled up at him. “Especially if we’re getting to know one another in bed.”

Poe winked. “As long as you don’t mind sharing.”

“Maybe the sonic too?”

“Maybe the table and the windowsill too?” Poe kissed him one last time and then walked away, a swagger to his hips that made Grey’s eyes follow him as he moved.

He watched the squad suit up and prepare their ships, still lurking on the edge of the hanger. Sighing, he leaned against the wall as the crews took their places.

And then Poe flew away.

Rubbing his eyes, he turned to storm back to their quarters and ran almost straight into Organa.

He’d been too focused on Poe to know that she had been standing there the entire time.

 _Shit_.

“So. We meet again.” He managed to say. “Poe said he talked to you and that we’re all friends here so you can stop looking at me like you want to shove me out of an airlock.” Suddenly realizing his tone, he dropped his head. “Your majesty.”

“Please. It’s _general_ now.” Organa folded her arms, her eyes narrowing at him and her suspicious peaking. “What is your family name, Grey?”

He shrugged. “Don’t have one. Never had a family. That a crime?”

“No. It’s absolutely not a crime,” she answered, still blocking him from his path out of the hanger and to the safety of their— _fuck_ _—_ Poe’s room. “I’m just making sure you’re not here for more…nefarious reasons.”

Exhaling, he tossed up his hands. “All I have is my word. So if that’s garbage to you, I’m not sure what I can do to change your mind. Stand on my head?”

“Maybe lift some rocks?” She arched another sharp eyebrow at him. “You sense me and I sense you. The meddroid ran a midichlorian count on you, young man. Where have you been hiding in the galaxy? My brother…”

Okay, he wasn’t going to stand there and _hear_ how he should be a Jedi. He avoided other Force users and the freak Force cultists that seemed to pop up when he least expected _or_ needed them. “Maybe your brother didn’t look hard enough? And where the kriff is he now? His little temple burnt down and he just fucks off? We heard about that on the Outer Rim too, you know?" Inside, he touched on his anger about the fucked up situation he'd gotten himself into. "Isn't it his fault that all of the new Jedi were murdered by Kylo Ren? You know? That guy? The Jedi _Killer?_ How fucking great would it be for me to be a Jedi right now with him running around?”

He was purposely challenging her, trying to get her to admit what he’d come to realize. Kylo Ren was this woman’s _son_. That weirdo in the mask had _parents._ At least he was confirmed for human. He would totally bail on the whole thing if that freak turned out to have like ten dicks or something. Fucking aliens with two dicks was enough work.

“So you chose to use your gift for this?” She lifted the datapad she’d had tucked under her arm. “It’s not hard to find what you’re wanted for, Grey. My former husband has a _very_ similar history so I’m standing here _not_ judging you for that. I just want to know that you’re here for good reasons. Especially if you’re…with Poe now.”

He snorted. “Like I just said. It’s my word, _general_. I think I’m done being a scumbag. So don’t take your bullshit about your husband out on me. I've got a lot to offer. You want minds read? I can do that. You want to swindle some arms' dealers out of their shit to outfit your little ragtag group here? Yeah, I can do that. Give me an x-wing and Poe as my teacher and I'll…" He trailed off, suddenly starting to believe his fabrications.

 _That_ part also seemed to knock her out of her sour face. “I can see that you’re serious. And hear it in your voice. If we can get you an x-wing, which you might be able to help us with, you’re more than welcome among our pilots. Just…I can be a little protective of Poe. Since my son fell to the darkside.”

Running his hand through his _annoyingly_ salt and pepper hair, he openly groaned. “So you straight up _admit_ that Kylo Ren is your fucking spawn? What the kriff, lady? I mean…I mean general.”

“Well, you’d already figured it out. And I don’t think there should be lies between us.” She moved to touch him and he took a slow step back, swallowing. “Poe said you two have a past together. I’d like the both of you to come to dinner in my quarters tonight. Maybe there…we can talk about Ben.”

“Who’s that?”

“My son,” she answered. “The man now known as Kylo Ren was the Jedi Padawan who destroyed Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Temple and annihilated the future of the Jedi. But as long as you choose the light and I’m around, maybe no one’s ever really gone.”

He took her in. The braids. The firm mouth. The utilitarian uniform that would make it easier for her to muck around with her people. She had the face of a leader and Grey had rarely fallen in line behind those types even though he was firmly behind one at the moment.

And that was going to be crushed into dust the instant they got to Naboo.

“I can’t really speak for him but yeah,” he answered. “Yeah, I don’t think we have plans tonight.”

“I’m good to hear it’s a _we,_ Grey.” Organa gave him a small smile. “I have other things to do. Don’t be afraid to come to me if you run into some trouble getting anything you want as long as you’re on our flagship.”

He blinked. “Okay, yeah, sure. Um, bye.”

He turned before she left, deciding that the dust in the corner was _very_ interesting at the moment.

-=-

"Hello, sir, I am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations. Oh and good evening, Commander Dameron! I have yet to be introduced to your guest." The golden protocol droid was just _begging_ to be punched in his metal face. “You are more than welcome to the princess’s quarters. We have prepared a wonderful evening for you both that I hope you will enjoy!”

If he hadn’t just had an orgasm a half an hour ago, he probably would have knocked him on his metal ass.

Poe gripped his hand and he was finally dragged into Organa’s quarters. For someone who dressed like a woman of the people, she sure had some sweet digs. Their— _ugh_ — Poe’s quarters were only comfortable because Grey was holding back from totally spreading out. So what if he’d hung up his few articles of clothing in Poe’s small wardrobe, next to his jumpsuit? So _what_ if their blasters sat side by side in the little window nook where they had spent far too long kissing? Just fingering a blaster and holding Poe was enough to make him want to come.

Poe had lent him a shirt for tonight. He hated admitting how well it fit, but he still preferred it tighter across the chest. There was no way his gangly legs would work in Poe’s trousers so he was still wearing the blaster-shot, scumbag pants. The burn marks could never be washed away or repaired but he liked it that way. And Poe wasn’t exactly complaining when he got him out of them.

He had tonight. And tomorrow he’d float the idea of going away. And then this would all be over and he could go back to his real life.

The one in which he didn’t have a family name. The one in which he worked _alone_ and would do so in his brand fucking new ship. The ship that he’d _take_ to the strangest backwater planet and jump into bed with the strangest species that he could find. Maybe something with tentacles. Maybe he’d finally get over his disgust and let a Hutt fuck him.

“Hey, Threepio,” Poe’s voice finally knocked him back to being led through the door. He was a sink of heat, one that kept drawing him in. The evening hadn’t even _started_ yet and he was already prepared to toss himself out of an airlock. “This is Grey. His…He’s got a bit of a sore throat so don’t mind him. He’ll be talking soon enough. I can make up for it in the meantime.”

Poe’s dick had been down his throat while Poe had his sweet mouth on his, teasing his balls with those soft hands as they took full advantage of the small space that they shared. They both drew one another to near orgasm before he begged Poe to fuck him again, shoving the lubricant into his hands and getting on his knees. The rest of the time he’d have with him, he quietly decided that he couldn’t be fucked by him face to face. But even getting fucked from behind sent him on another journey. It was like watching the stars shift into hyperspace. The few hours he’d spent alone sitting in the corner of the mess hall while Poe was gone, fucking with people’s heads until he was bored, had been forgotten.

But he did figure out who Poe had and hadn’t fucked on board.

Most of them fell into the latter category and Grey had felt good about himself for about half an hour.

Both the girls and the guys and most of the groups of those in-between wanted him. Even some of the non-humanoids thought he was charming beyond belief.

And by the end of his little exploration that led him deck by deck, he'd learned that Poe had only had _one_ affair there. And it ended badly. It wasn’t in his squadron but the young, beautiful, comm officer’s glare had been enough to tell him that word got around _fast_ on a ship, despite how big it was. He’d caught a few stray thoughts about some guy named Muran and some other guy named Antilles; Antilles had been a mentor and Muran had been a tragedy. If Grey had given more of a thought to the heroes of the war against the Empire, he might have retained more information about the Antilles guy but none of that information ever stuck because it was too boring. He’d hardly retained the holos about Skywalker and Organa and had almost broken down in Poe’s quarters and looked into it more.

But he didn’t.

He stopped himself.

He couldn’t get jealous over a man he was about to hand over to the First Order’s personal Sith shithead the day after tomorrow.

Shaking his head, he registered that Poe and Leia were embracing and swallowed when she turned to him.

Ugh.

He pushed down his stray thought and bent down to hug the woman. Her hair was down. She was in a gown that probably was worth more than he’d ever accrued in his entire life.

“Grey, it’s good to see you.” Her smile was tight.

He knew he was radiating bad thoughts and that her mind was locked on his. So he purposely brought a wash of jealously about Poe’s previous lovers to the forefront of his mind, pressing on it _hard._ Even as he smiled in return, he slowly felt a wave of sympathy from the woman. Fucking good. Kylo Ren’s mother could get snowed too like the shitshow that was Hoth.

“Come in. There’re drinks in the sitting room. We have a bit of a better set up at the base but we’re here for now. And I refuse to let Threepio serve them. No matter how much he complains.” She led them further into her quarters and he slowly felt dirtier with each step he took. He _never_ used to feel bad about that but fuck, having Poe’s hand in his had him feeling like the scumbag he’d be by the start of next week and the one he’d been only a couple of days ago.

"Oh no, Princess, I will see the mechanic again to see if he can fix me! You see, Commander Dameron and Mister Grey, I have been having a problem with my arm. It is red, you see, and I have not yet gained full movement of it. I tend to spill the drinks and that is far too inappropriate for a protocol droid…" C3PO droned on and Grey looked over at Poe with wide eyes, begging him to make him shut up.

“Yeah, Threepio, that sounds good.” Poe suddenly paused and gripped his hand hard for support, pulling off his boot. The other followed. He tossed them both towards the door. “Can you see if you can test your arms on my boots? I didn’t have time to polish them and they feel _far too_ inappropriate for an evening in the general’s quarters.”

“Yes sir!” C3PO answered promptly, quickly shuffling away, already muttering to himself about the _state_ of the footwear.

Grey just smiled at Poe. And Poe leaned up to kiss him.

That earned them a quiet throat clear from the general, who stood with glasses in each hand.

She tilted her head and gestured and Poe finally let go of Grey’s hand to accept them. He handed him a glass and he nodded in thanks. He felt empty in an instant but at least _now_ he had alcohol. And expensive stuff at that. This wasn't the watered-down swill they passed off as booze at the cantinas he haunted.

As he sat on the sofa in the salon, feeling Poe slide in closer to him, he was only half-listening to the conversation going on around him. It was mostly bla bla strategy, bla bla First Order, bla bla how’s your father kind of stuff. He had a firm hand on his knee, trying to keep him focused.

Poe thought he wasn’t really there because of all of the shit he’d been through. He was still coming down from spice. He’d caught that stray thought from Poe in the shower that morning. He’d been drunk and on drugs, searching the galaxy for his lost love. He’d let him believe it.

He hadn’t given two kriffs about Dameron until Ren had brought his fucking face up in his fucking mind.

Now he was about to give up the free life of cantina whores and easy money for what? Emerald wine in Leia Organa’s sitting room?

The thought made him cough into his drink, making Poe sit up. “Hey, you okay?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m…I’m fine. Thanks. But I have some thoughts about the First Order if you want to hear them.”

 _That_ got him two pairs of sharp eyes. It was Leia who calmly sipped her drink before setting it down again, the hard clink rattling against the low table that separated them. “Go ahead, Grey.”

What kind of tale could he weave here? Okay. The truth often worked the best.

“They’re more powerful than you guys. You know, I mean, _us._ I think,” he said quickly before sipping his glass. “I think I can help with that. I have tons of connections with weapons dealers who owe me a thing or two. Maybe we can, um, get back at them for the fucked up shit they’re doing to the galaxy.”

That earned him a firm squeeze to his knee from Poe. “Grey, Gods, you really are a gift. General, I told you. Didn’t I tell you? He’s totally on our side. I told you that he’s great. I…look what we have here, Leia. We have a chance to find other dealers that might be able to do something for us. We _know_ that the First Order is only getting more powerful. They are taking over more and more planets and the Republic isn’t doing anything. We need to stop them and we need to stop…” Poe trailed off and he felt a sharp spike of emotion from his lover, dropping his hand to cover Poe’s in an instant. “We need to stop him.”

His hand had seemed to give Poe strength.

And in the grip, he saw what he’d refused to see up until that point.

Ben and Poe. Growing up together. Poe leaning on Ben when his mother died. Ben being heartbroken when Poe ran away. Ben looking overjoyed when Poe walked back into _his_ life and out of Grey’s, leaving him to his shit life by returning to the New Republic like the good boy he was. He was the hero of the New Republic he deserved to be because of his fucking heart. And Grey was just a scumbag with an empty hole where his heart _should_ be.

Ben was Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was Ben. Grey had seen his face through Poe’s eyes and saw the pain and torture that must still rest in that awkwardly beautiful face behind the dark mask.

And he felt how equally Poe wanted him. The stolen kisses and the deepening feelings before the fall of Ben Solo that didn’t go beyond one intense and awkward make-out session in the Millennium Falcon that left them both with damp trousers. The man who had made love to him yesterday and today had another destiny and all of that revolved around the dark-haired man with _fucking_ famous parents while Grey had just nothing. Because of _course_ he was chasing Han Solo’s coattails again. Of all of the rumours in the galaxy, he’d tried to make sure that people said his name before that old coot’s and here he was getting drawn right back into it. His heart _deserved_ to be a black hole because he would never be fucking good enough. _That’s_ why he avoided being close to anyone for too long. And since he’d just disappoint them anyway, he might as well actively sabotage his life so it would be on his own terms.

Of all of his jealously, of all of these _stupid_ unwanted emotions, this was the _last_ thing he needed to be confirmed.

“Poe, you know that will be very hard to do, but I’m glad I have you both on my side,” Leia was talking and Grey was slowly coming back into being in the room. He undid the top button of the shirt he’d loaned from Poe and took a breath, gripping his crystal again. “Is something wrong, Grey?”

“I’m just warm,” he mumbled. “But I know there’s a lot of work to do. And a lot of hurt people in the galaxy.” Okay. It was time to get over himself. It was do or die now and the rest of it they could sort out over dinner. “So, it’s like this. I just got here and I know that I’m not…I’m not perfect. I’ve got banthas in my closet and a world of hurt in my heart. But I really care about Poe. I know it’s only been a couple of days but I love him and I just want…General can we take a break? Can we just have some time to figure out…” He trailed off but Poe’s hand was still in his.

And like he’d _known_ he would say, Poe finished his thought. “To find out if this is really love, yeah, General. I haven’t had shore leave in a while but…”

“Listen,” Leia said, putting them both in their place, even if it wasn’t deserved. “I know young love. I really do. Why don’t we finish these drinks and sit down to dinner. We can discuss this…more. If you’d like.”

He’d already heard C3P0 shuffling in the background. He turned and glared at the droid.

“Commander Dameron! Your boots sir.”

Poe nudged him and he managed a small smile before dropping his eyes.

Maybe if he annoyed the droid enough, he’d put poison in his food.

-=-

Poe gripped his hips hard and he heard the joyful noise of his orgasm as he pumped his hips a couple of more times, getting as much out of his body as he could as he came.

Grey hid a scream by biting his arm. He’d just came _hard_ but it had hurt more than it had washed the world into white as he'd wanted.

Poe's hands slid up his sides, fingertips tracing places he wanted to kiss. Grey could see it in his mind and he winced, keeping his teeth firmly in his forearm. "By the Gods, I can't get enough of you."

He felt Poe hug him and leaned into it, trying to get back to himself.

Tomorrow would be almost there.

And he would have the freedom to do what he wanted. What _they_ wanted.

Shifting, he painfully turned over, forcing Poe to pull out and feeling the warmth of semen leaking out from between his legs. Whatever. The sheets had already been ruined and he was more than willing to sleep in the wet spot.

“So, were you serious tonight?” Grey asked, reaching out to stroke his sweaty and still shaking hand through Poe’s damp hair. “This is happening so fast but…but it can be real if we go away, I think.”

Poe leaned over to kiss him, a sensual one filled with delicate lips and lingering passion. "I already know I love you. I figured it out this morning. Bam. It hit me hard and I don't want to be anywhere but with you. And I can't wait to fall deeper in love with you. I think I forgot to tell you that before. The moment you stepped onto this ship, I felt something I haven't felt in so long."

His lip trembled when Poe dropped to his side, earning him a concerned hand through his hair.

“Hey, what’s going on? Did I do something wrong? Hey, come here.” He was engulfed in firm arms and sighed against them. He didn’t need to hear that. But at the same time, it was exactly what needed to happen. “Did I say that too quickly? I’m always saying stupid things. You can just forget it if you…”

He nuzzled closer. “Do you really love me?”

He was garbage. He was a scumbag. He'd made a deal with the worst monster in the galaxy. He didn't deserve the shining man stroking his arm.

“Grey, you’ve been hurt. So many people have used you but I’m not one of them. When…when we were kids, I saw you. I saw your eyes. I saw your heart. You have a good one, I know that.” Poe leaned over, kissing his eyebrow. “Let’s change the subject. We have leave. We can go anywhere for a bit and be us. We can use the general’s personal craft. That’s a big deal. Where do you want to go?”

 _Anywhere with you. Let’s just run away from this coming war and hide at the edge of the galaxy as it burns._ "I, um." He couldn't say it, but he had to. He couldn't be this comfortable. He could get sex from anyone. He could fuck with people's minds anywhere. With a new ship, he could really shake some shit up. He could erase these days after three or four hot fucks and one or two raids. "I've got a place on Naboo. I mean, it's really a friend's place, but he said I could use it. Have you ever been there?"

Poe quirked his head and kissed his cheek. "Nope. But I've heard it's beautiful. And I also heard the food was good. The Gungans are in the cities, cooking, and it's amazing. We can go there. Why didn't you say something before?"

Grey dropped his chin. “I don’t know. Organa is really a…she messes with my head.”

With one of his tanned hands, Poe was gripping his kyber again, turning it in his fingers. “You know, um, you know she’s told me some things about you. And what you’ve always had around your neck.”

He swallowed. “What did she say?”

“That this is a piece of your past you’re still trying to work out.” Poe shrugged, his hand shifting to trace up his throat to cup his face, the necklace forgotten. “That you’re trying your best. And you’ve been through hard things. And that you’re going to figure it all out as long as you’re with me.”

 _So she’s lying to you too_? “I think I can do it. If we’re together.”

Poe kissed him again but pulled away to yawn after only a moment. “I’m almost too exhausted to shower. You’ve worn me out.”

They were sticky. They were sweaty. But Grey didn’t want to move. “It’s too much of a hassle. It’s all the way over there and we’re already here so…”

Chuckling, Poe fixed the sheets over them. “Yeah, it’s not like the shower won’t be there tomorrow.” He was making himself comfortable, safe in his dumb arms. “Good night, Grey. I love you.”

He pressed his lips to Poe’s forehead, tasting the hint of salt there. “I love you too.”

_I don’t want to lose you._

_But I have to._

No wonder Ren wanted him. He was so hard to let go of.

-=-

It would be a shame to leave the fucking _yacht_ they’d been given for their holiday but Grey reasoned that he could strip some things for parts. He ran his hands along the bulkheads as he listened to Poe in the cockpit, chattering away. It was small, sure, but large enough that if he walked to their quarters and the giant bed that was in there, he wouldn’t be able to hear his happy voice telling the rest of his squadron that he was happy and on holiday so leave him alone unless war really broke out.

BB8 buzzed up next to him, chirping at him.

Grey narrowed his eyes. “I’m not up to something. Stop being paranoid and listen to your master.” BB8 rolled right into his calf and it _hurt._ “What did I _just_ say?”

“Hey! What’s going on back there?” The distant shout made him roll his eyes.

Grey sneered at the droid. “We’re just trying to figure out where I should sleep. Beebee thinks the hold. What do you think?” His shout got him a whirl and a beep from the droid that he didn’t expect. Quirking his head, he knelt. "Yeah, I'm… don't worry. It will be okay."

He heard Poe’s boots crossing the pristine floor to stand next to them. “It looks like you solved it yourselves? So is Grey sleeping in the hold, bud? We can have that bed all to ourselves.”

Running his hand down BB8’s oval form, Grey forced himself to stand. “Nah, he wants to be there too. Why aren’t we including your droid in our love life?”

Poe quickly socked him in the arm, making him gape at him. Poe was already grinning so he matched it with one of his own.

“Ow, you fucker.” Grey was thankful for the pain. It was a welcome distraction from feeling like he was going to pass out from the stress of where they were heading.

Poe stood back, planting his hands on his hips. “Well, you can’t talk about my droid that way. Is this our first fight? Do you want to fight about it?”

He was leading this charming beautiful man straight into the fire. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t have fun with it.

"Is this our first fight? Yeah, maybe," he said, smirking. "I'd help you clean him after. I mean, except for the taste, I can't tell the difference between whose come is whose so if he gets covered in it, I'll lick it off of him."

“Liar.” Poe smacked his lips. “I’m sweeter than you, aren’t I?”

“Of course,” another truth. “That’s why I love it.”

Poe gripped him hard, pulling him down into a kiss. “We’re locked into the course. Do you want to go and taste me right now?”

Grey could almost feel the hint of blood on his lips, making the need burn with new ferocity. “I’d like nothing more, my love.”

That got Poe going harder and he almost kicked BB8 aside as he gripped at Grey’s shirt. It was _still_ the one he’d loaned him. That was another thing Grey could pilfer: all of the clothes Poe had borrowed for their ‘holiday’ would be his for the taking. The pants were useless but the underclothes and shirts were all his.

Before Poe could rip the shirt, Grey pulled it off first. He _liked_ this shirt and didn’t need it ruined.

“Do you want to fuck me on the floor here?” Grey offered, slowly moving back, keeping his eyes on Poe, trying to draw him in. “Or do you want me on that nice bed back there?”

Poe kept coming closer, but shed his shirt, tossing it over BB8. “Grey, maybe now that we’re…maybe that we’re us and a thing?” Ah _shit_. “And a really good thing as long as you leave my droid out of it. You can fuck me.”

His mouth went dry and he took a cautious step back. “I want that.”

But at the same time _no._ He was so close to getting what he wanted. He could get a decent ship and be out of this part of the galaxy _forever._ He almost felt like Naboo was already looming in the porthole, reminding him of _death_.

“Hey,” Poe said, grabbing his hand. “Hey, I didn’t mean…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s been…” The soft grip tightened. “Grey, this is real and I didn’t mean to push you.”

Again, he found some pity in the tone. And Grey hated it. "I do…I…" He inhaled. "Can we save it until we get to Naboo? We'll have plenty of time there."

Organa had promised them a week. And with a few comms he could stretch that out longer. Ren would have Dameron and he’d be on the other side of the galaxy.

Still, Poe quirked an eyebrow. “Why do you even want to go there? You do that thing with your face every time you say _Naboo._ What’s the matter?”

He undid his pants as an answer. Getting naked tended to solve more problems than it caused. He was only half-hard when he stripped down but at least Poe could see all of his flesh. "Maybe I'm nervous about being alone with you finally? Like really alone?"

Planting his hands on Grey's hips, Poe kept him from moving. "I'm glad you convinced me to go. I've needed this for a long time."

Grey kissed him to keep himself from saying something stupid.

-=-

Leaving the ship on the landing platform, they descended into the city. The streets of Theed were clean and open, colourful banners softly wavering in the soft breeze that smelt like distant flowers. Everyone was dressed better than them in flowing and fancy outfits. Naboo: fashion capital of the fucking galaxy.

At least Poe fit in with how handsome he was. Grey had dirty clothes and the nearly salt and pepper hair of a far older man. Being twenty-six and starting to match his name was another level of frustration, bruising his ego.

But Poe didn’t care.

“So, where are we heading? Do you want to get some dinner first?” Poe turned, reaching for him.

“I thought I’d cook for you tonight,” Grey offered, taking his hand and squeezing it lightly. “Now, let me think. I need to remember where this place is.”

Poe was distracting him. He smelt too good and his hips were too enticing. Fucking on the ship still felt as good as the first time. And tonight would be the last time if he didn’t get up at dawn and give him a proper goodbye.

“Okay. I hear you. Shutting up.” Poe ran a line over his lips and Grey sighed openly at the gesture.

But he had to focus. He shook his head and turned his mind to the city. The thoughts of the residents, coming home from work or studies to their expansive and well-decorated homes, were filtered out. They were empty beings who never took chances in their lives, eating fruit and drinking sweet wine to _another_ beautiful sunset. He concentrated on the darker sides of the planet. There was no poverty there but there _were_ people who still stole and cheated on their spouses. There were those that hated the integration of the Gungans but kept that to secret meetings.

Tapping into that would lead him to where Ren had recently been, also in secret. No one knew what he looked like under the mask. He could probably wander the streets without anyone realizing who they were selling flowers and silks to.

He had to walk in his heavy boots, following the path that the darksider had left for him.

_There._

He turned his head and pointed with his free hand. "It's that way."

Even though Poe nodded, he felt his slight confusion and curiosity. "Is that how you remember things? Hey, yeah. I remember you doing that all of the time. You just stare out into space and then come up with some idea or plan."

He tried to shrug it off, tugging his hand to his mouth to kiss the other man’s knuckle. “It’s just something I do. Some people think it’s cute.”

“I’m not saying it’s not cute,” Poe said, pulling his hand loose before slipping it around his waist as they walked. “I guess it’s like when I’m flying. I just let go of everything and trust my senses. So yeah. I get it.”

 _Thank the Gods_. “You’ll have to take me flying sometime in your x-wing. I think we could both fit. I’m pretty flexible.”

Poe winked. “I know you are.”

He could tell him everything right then and there. He could stop him in the middle of the cobble-stoned street and warn him about what was coming tomorrow. It was all a fucking _job_ for him. He really didn’t feel the things that were opening up his cold, dead heart to what love _must_ feel like to others. Poe could get away if he told him; he could leave him to be blasted into dust by Kylo Ren. He could go back to his Resistance _family_ and forget about the broken scumbag who’d fucked with his heart, tricking him into falling in love in under a week.

Reaching the building that radiated Ren, he stepped away from Poe. For a moment, he was sure that he was inside. He gripped his kyber, earning a bewildered look from Poe as he stared at the massive red-clay structure on a secluded side street.

“What’s going on? Hey? Hey, are you okay?”

He distantly heard Poe, letting him take the panic away. Ren wasn't inside. But the place was oozing with his presence. So this was where he hid out when he wasn't on a murder spree across the galaxy with his broken-ass lightsaber. 

“It’s fine,” he said, trying to brush him off as he walked to the door. He palmed the keypad but quietly made the door open with the Force instead. “Come on.”

Poe was following him but he was suspicious. He needed to stop acting strangely but didn't know how to pull out of the spiral. What _had_ that man done to him? Only a couple of days ago, he was so sure of who he was. Now, he was drifting into worries that he _did not_ need.

Climbing the stairs to the second storey, he opened the door with another dose of spoofing and could finally breathe when there was no one inside.

And the place was fucking gorgeous: the broad, open floor; sparse but comfortable-looking furniture; the open meal-preparing and dining area…the light from the large windows made the entire place look like they were outside. It overlooked a fucking orchard.

Stepping inside, he whistled. “Fucking amazing.”

Poe dropped his bag, snapping his attention to him. “Grey. What’s going on? Be serious with me. Why are we here? What is this place? How did you get us inside?”

He narrowed his eyes, putting his ratty backpack onto the polished floor. “What are you talking about? It was coded to me. I just haven’t been here in a while and the guy I know changed the furniture.”

Poe was frowning, crossing his arms. “So there’s _nothing_ shady going on here? I'm trying to help you find the straight and narrow, to fly right, just like you said. Are you here for spice? Is that what you're waiting for? You don't _need_ that shit. You’ve been shaky the entire time we’ve been together so I _know_ you’re still coming down. It’s part of why I agreed to come here. You can finish getting clean and we can start figuring out where we want this to go. I don’t _do_ things that aren’t forever. This has all happened so fast but I want to be with you.”

Blinking, Grey felt the air leave his lungs. Words wouldn't come to him as they should. He'd been turned inside out by something that should have been quick and easy. He was almost proud of himself when he'd entered the apartment because he’d finally done a job to a deadline. This kriffing nightmare would be over tomorrow and he could go back to what he really was.

Because he wasn’t the good person Poe saw him as. His entire life was shady shit.

“Poe, I…” He started before he rubbed his eyes. On top of everything, the ground was humming, telling him to go fuck himself. "Yeah. Yeah, I just need a break. I left my life. My ship blew up. I haven't had a hit in so long. But you…I don't need that shit if I have you. I didn't say those things to Organa to keep getting into your pants. I really meant them. I can…" Ah fuck, why the fuck not? Why not fucking tell him? He’d be out of there tomorrow anyway, leaving Ren to have what he wanted. He gripped his crystal, holding it up from his throat. “I’ve had this as long as I can remember. I know it’s kyber. I can feel it. I don't know who or what gave it to me but it's something that's mine. I've got…Organa saw it and I almost wished she'd told you. I have the Force. All of the shady shit I do is because I can fuck with people's heads. No one's ever trained me. No one's ever given a _shit_ about me other than you. Luke Skywalker didn’t come to fucking fix me or whatever. I’ve probably survived this long only because of the fucking Force.”

The long pause stretched between them and he watched the words land in Poe's mind. He furrowed his brows eventually, tilting his dark head at him. "You haven't…Grey, did you make me fall in love with you?"

“No,” he snapped. “No, I didn’t. That’s no lie. I saw…maybe I did dip into your head to see that you really cared about me. And that made me fall in love with you. So maybe, maybe I don’t know. Maybe that’s how the fucking Force works. I don’t know shit about it and no one has ever bothered to teach me so.”

Poe huffed a sigh and turned away, leaving him alone by the door. He crossed the floor to the balcony and went into the warm evening air. Grey could feel the waves of pain emanating from his lover and looked at the hole in his boot again. He felt tricked. He felt swindled. Poe really cared about him and didn't want to be snowed by another Force user who was just going to break his heart.

Fuck. Kriffing fuck.

Honesty was the worst fucking thing in the galaxy since the Death Star.

Biting the inside of his mouth until he tasted blood, he finally stomped over.

Poe had his head down, his arms folded on the balcony railing. Despite the distant, breath-taking sunset that was engulfing the horizon, Grey could only feel him. "Poe, I'm sorry. I should have told you…"

“Oh yeah?” Poe’s head shot up. “Do you _really_ think so? Yeah, yeah Grey. You should have. So, you were in my head when you figured out I wanted to sleep with you? So you could say whatever I wanted to hear to make it happen? Is this what you use the Force for when you’re not going from scheme to scheme so you can stay _high?_ ”

He swallowed. “The most I do is tabac. I’m shaky because this planet fucks with me.”

“What is the _deal_ with that!” Poe snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. “If it bothers you so much, why are we here?”

Blinking, Grey took a cautious step forward. “Honestly? I don’t know. This place has always felt like the end. A fucking creepy, bad end that has always haunted me, but…” He swallowed, searching the ache in his heart for an answer. Okay, fine. “I wanted to erase that end with a new beginning. One with you. One that means I don’t have to be a fucking scumbag anymore. Your heart is so caring, Poe. I didn’t mean to use you in any way. I really didn’t. My ship was blowing up and you were there. I didn’t _do_ that on purpose. The Force just does this shit but we have this chance now and I…maybe now that I have my head on straight, I can help you forget who _you_ are trying to put behind you. It's a new start for us both."

He didn't even know where the truth stopped and the lies began. It was all a world of words that should be crushed into dust by an AT-AT.

Daring to reach out, he almost smiled as he felt Poe’s heart starting to turn back to him. Still, in those images, he caught scattered hints of Ben. He’d fucked with his head too. That particular bastard had left Poe alone and broken, trying to figure out who he was in the aftermath of their pure need for one another.

But ache returned when he realized that Poe had hope again. He _always_ was able to find hope.

Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. Throw him into the seven Sith hells, but he had to use this. Even if he was going to walk out of this fucking dream of an apartment the next day for his new ship, he was going to allow himself to fucking feel that night. He could use those emotions in the future to swindle his way through some other jam. And maybe, he'd be kind enough to himself to think about Poe in those moments.

Dipping his head, Grey took a deep breath. “I love you for you. You’re a fantastic person who someone like me doesn’t deserve. I live on the fringe of the galaxy and you live at the centre, where you should be. But I want…I want this.”

The war in his heart ended when the other man pulled him roughly into his arms and Grey almost cried. _Almost._ But he quickly felt Poe’s tears as he leaned up to kiss him, gripping his face with a firm hand.

“I want you too,” Poe broke the kiss to say, his hand still holding his chin firmly. “Just don’t…just stop doing shady shit. Hey, look,” the hand pulled away, “I love you. Whoever you are, I love you. And I believe you. Let’s…okay, yeah, you just said this is a new beginning? Let’s have that too. You and me? One hundred percent honesty? That I’d like and love.”

Grey nodded instantly. “You bet your ass I can do that.”

He didn't even mean it but it did earn him a deep and _hot_ kiss and Poe’s arms were around him instantly.

He focused on the heat. He put all of his thoughts into pouring himself into the meeting of teeth and tongues. There was only the weak realization that he was being dragged inside, led across the floor apartment towards the bedroom.

His head was swimming but they were pulling off their clothes. Like the first time, the second he was on the bed, Poe was on top of him. That gorgeous cock was making his weep with the hard and fast motions of his hips.

“Show that you love me, Grey,” Poe said with a gasp as he broke away from his mouth. “Fuck me.”

The humming from the ground grew louder and Grey answered him with a nod before surging up to kiss him again, letting the heat in his groin drive him. He weakly reached out with his mind for something to use for lube and quickly found Ren's stock. Gripping Poe's ass, he moaned at the friction from the energetic body in his lap, continuing to show him that he was loved even if he didn't deserve it.

“If you want it, you’ll get it,” he leaned up to whisper, pushing down the stupid self-doubt by talking like himself even if he didn’t feel like he was real at that point. “Get on your back.”

Poe was smiling again as he sat up, already sweaty with half-closed, flirty eyes that he wanted to drown in. “Good. I want to look at you.”

Grey kissed him one last time then nudged him off as gently as he could.

He felt like he was going to pass out when he stood but he made himself keep going. Ren had stocked up, he realized when he stumbled to the fresher. He had felt food in the cold box so he could at least do _that_ for Poe. But what was pulsing harder was in the fresher. So much lube. And the good stuff too. This wasn’t some Outer-Rim spit fuck he was planning here. He grabbed one of the bottles and pushed Ren from his head as he strode back to the bedroom.

That giant bed. The breathtaking sight of seeing Poe lying on it, erect and proud of it. Him smiling as he took him in.

This would all be Ren’s tomorrow.

But it could be his tonight.

Today, he realized, was the last day he could be in love. For the rest of his life, he wasn't ever going to go near the emotions. He would have to shove them into the back of his mind so it wouldn't hurt. He might even do spice after this. He was going to get his ship and go to the closest planet and get fucked up beyond belief. Throw it all onto the pile so it could burn as he absorbed as many substances as he could.

Kneeling on the plush bed, he shifted closer. Poe wiggled his eyebrows as Grey tried to come back to himself.

Grey reached out and touched his hip, tracing the curve of Poe’s pelvis, feeling the softness of his skin. He studied his body, taking it in because this was really the last time. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

It was like the heat of the confessions and conversation that had put his head into a permanent haze. It was either that or the planet or the apartment or _everything._

Emotions turned to touches and suddenly Poe was on him, lowering himself down onto his suddenly lubed cock. He wrapped his legs around him as he fucked himself with delicate sighs that meant commitment, the type of words that were never meant for him. Grey felt himself thrusting up but the room kept spinning into a haze of particles, an orgasm building. But something else was scratching at the back of his neck at the same time and it was fucking _annoying._

When Poe was gasping and screaming that he was on the brink, Grey held back, letting Poe ride himself to completion. The sweet taste of his skin, the tight feeling of being inside of him…all of it was for the person he was at that moment. Tomorrow would be another story.

When he heard Poe’s breath catch, the familiar sound of his orgasm about to rock him, Grey let himself fully take in his mind.

It was a beautiful pain to come in that moment.

-=-

They ate a decent dinner that Grey managed to throw together. Ren had really outfitted the entire place with enough food, ale, wine, and lube that he could picture how the rest of Poe’s time on Naboo would be, whether he liked it or not.

And then Poe fucked him hard. They were drunk and in love, high off one another and promising forever.

And Grey held back, not telling him the truth.

This affair hadn’t gone as planned but it only had one end. So, in a way, even when he’d finally done something right, he’d still fucked it up. And he never used to _care_ how he constantly seemed to fail at his random schemes but now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

With Poe finally asleep, Grey turned his mind to the comm in his tattered backpack. The other man was in his arms, sated from their lovemaking and the ale they’d shared.

But the dead of night meant daylight was coming.

Shoving a wad of tabac under his lip, he sighed at the sharpness leaking into his mouth. The relief washed away his headache. He stared at the hateful device in his bag and then decided to act before his better sense could take over.

Wandering out to the balcony, he took in the night and drew a deep breath.

He made the call. “Yeah, hey, I’m here. Where the fuck are you?”

He sat back, picking up his glass to down the last of the ale he’d left on the small table as he waited for a reply. He was going to need to get blackout drunk to make it through the rest of this shitshow. Getting happy drunk was one thing. Getting angry drunk would at least make him _feel_ something.

“So, you’ve completed your mission?” The aggressive reply, _still_ through a vocoder, made him bristle. “So, he’s here?”

Grey rolled his eyes. “Yeah. And thanks for this place. I’m sure the two of you will be fucking happy here. Where’s my ship?”

“You’ll get it when I get what’s mine,” Ren said, exhaling after. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

"Oh no you fucking don't! Keep answering your comm you fucking nerfherder!” he shouted.

But there was no reply.

-=-

He just held Poe in the sonic as the morning settled around them. For once, he turned down the offer of sex. This wasn't his anymore. Poe looked at him with concern but also understanding, telling him that sex wasn't all he thought about. Grey, hating himself and full of shit, said the same.

They'd just finished the morning meal when he felt Ren. The tingling spread so quickly, burning up his mind like wildfire until the danger was screaming so hard in his temples that he had to grit his teeth to fight from crying.

“Grey?” Poe’s hand was on his back. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

The worry in Poe's brown eyes made him shudder. He'd listened to him. He loved him. He should do him a kindness and knock him out, pulling all of the memories from his head so he would wake up without a single recollection of this wild week. It would be the biggest thing he'd ever done with the Force. But he was sure that because the Force was an asshole, it would let him do it so he could hate himself more. He could also kill him. Because he was sure as shit dead in the water the second Ren dipped into Poe's mind and felt how many times they'd fucked. That would be an idea: kill Poe and then put his blaster to his temple and end himself before Ren got the chance.

Instead, he did none of those things.

Jumping to his feet, he grabbed Poe’s hand to drag him towards the door. “You have to get out of here. You have to _run_. Get back to the ship and get out of here right now.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Poe snapped, snatching his arm away. “What did you do?”

“I…” He resisted the temptation of _making_ him leave. “Kylo Ren is here. He’s coming but I still think you have time to…”

Poe’s eyes grew wide, shock pulsing through his body. Pain flooded the room as Poe took two slow steps back from him. “You…you brought me here to him. Didn’t you. Your ship wasn’t damaged by accident. You were _looking_ for me for him. You utter _bastard_.”

Wincing, Grey nodded. Okay. If he hated him, he might as well make it stick. “Yeah, well, if you weren’t so desperate to forget him, then maybe you wouldn’t have _fucked me_ only a few hours after we met.”

He didn’t bother to block the punch that was coming. Poe socked him right in the mouth, knocking him to the polymarble floor. He didn’t speak, looking down at him with pure loathing. He saw the tears in Poe’s eyes before the man turned, quickly sprinting for the bedroom.

Grey sat up on his elbows to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Poe was getting his weapon but that wouldn't be enough.

“Too late,” he said when the other man sprinted back into the room, taking aim with panicked hands.

Because the door snapped open.

And Kylo Ren stepped into the room, taking in the scene with an unmasked face.

“Hey,” Grey quipped from the floor. “How’s it going?”

Ren quirked an eyebrow at him before turning his sharp eyes to the man aiming a blaster at him. “Poe.”

Exhaling, Poe’s hand shook lightly. “Why can’t you just leave me and the galaxy _alone_ , Ben?”

Ren stepped over him. Grey stayed where he was, not bothering to get up.

“You know that Ben Solo is dead. He died because he was _weak_.” Ren waved one hand and the blaster was torn from Poe’s hand, hurtling across the room to crash against an ornate wall.

“Well, then I’m glad he’s dead! Because I can stop being in love with him if he’s dead and gone. He didn’t _die._ You killed him when you destroyed the temple! You killed him when you tried to kill Luke Skywalker!” Poe shouted. “And if you’re here to torture and kill me, go ahead. You sent _him_ to break my heart _again_ so I’m already in a world of pain. Whatever you could do to me now will feel like a fucking cakewalk.”

Grey put his head down and shut his eyes. Couldn’t this just be over? Maybe he could get Ren’s lightsaber to him so he could stab himself in the heart.

“Poe,” Ren’s voice was softer this time and Grey opened one eye. “I’m not here for that. I’m here…Poe, I can’t do it anymore. The First Order and my master have gone too far. They are constructing a weapon that goes beyond true evil. I can’t stop them. But with your help, perhaps something can be done. And you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Me?” Poe scoffed. “Because of what we _used_ to share before you turned your back on the light? Yeah, sure, Ben. Let me get right on that. Luke Skywalker couldn’t help you. Your parents couldn’t…”

“My parents abandoned me!” Ren shot back. “My parents turned me over to Skywalker because they were afraid of my power. _You_ were never afraid of it.”

“Because I cared about you!”

Rolling his eyes, Grey dusted himself off. “Guys…”

“ _What?”_ The two men turned and snapped in unison.

He would have laughed if the room wasn’t filled with dozens of swirling emotions. And the pulsing from the ground was still giving him a fucking headache.

“I’m going to head out,” he said. “Ren, I got him for you. You better…you’d better have brought a ship for me.”

Ren quirked his awkwardly handsome head. "You'd really just walk away from him? With all that you feel for him?"

He felt a spike of emotion from Poe that made him grimace. “Does it really matter? He’s yours now. He was never really mine. I don’t deserve someone like him. I mean, you don’t either but you’re pretty good at taking what you want so...” He trailed off and then groaned to himself. “You were in my head the entire time I was with him, weren’t you?”

Ren smirked. “No. But I could have been. You need to be trained. _That_ is clear. I sought you out knowing this would happen.”

He snorted. “Of course you did. And I don’t need anybody’s help. I don’t need anybody’s love. Just let me be on my way so I can start forgetting _all_ of this.” He flicked his eyes to Poe, renewing the ache in his heart with one simple look. “Sorry about all of this. But I am sort of a scumbag so don’t feel too bad that I tricked you into this. Thanks for all of the sex. I’ll think about you the next time I jerk off.” Grey took one last look between the two men before shrugging into the silence. “Okay, fine.” He strode away, back to the bedroom to get his shit. One step at a time. Even if Ren didn’t have a ship for him, he’d find one to steal.

Closing his eyes, he ignored the low voices as he stared at the tangled sheets on the bed.

He didn’t even care when he looked up from grabbing his bag that Poe would be standing in the doorway. “Don’t go.”

“What?” He narrowed his eyes, catching the sight of Ren lurking down the hall, watching them. His shields were firmly in place and he couldn’t sense if they were in danger or not. And he didn’t care. “Poe, please…”

“No, Grey, listen.” Poe’s face was firm, glaring hard at him. “I can get over what happened between us. I can get over what happened between him and me. It will kriffing hurt but I can do that. But if the First Order does have some sort of superweapon, then we need to stop them. Is he telling the truth? Can you tell me if he's telling the truth? If the galaxy is at risk, maybe we should get over ourselves and try to save it."

The heartache and anger were still there. The confusion and sense of being deceived remained. But underneath it all, Poe had the spark of loyalty to his cause still burning hard.

Force, he loved him. He loved that spirit. If the galaxy were filled with more people like Poe Dameron and fewer people like him and Kylo Ren, then peace wouldn’t be hard to maintain. Sure, it would be boring, but at least fewer people would die all of the time.

“He’s…” Grey looked from Poe then back to Ren. “He’s blocking himself from me. I can’t tell you.”

Poe turned to stare at Ren. “Open your mind to him. Do it, Ben. Do it so I know I can trust you. You’ve got so much blood on your hands that I don’t know if I can ever forgive you but this could be a _start._ ”

Folding his arms, Grey sat down on the bed. He didn’t want to help Ren. He didn’t want to hurt Poe. All he wanted to do was get the fuck out of there, not bothering to make things right. But the Force was screaming at him to listen. His temples ached and he had to shut his eyes when he felt Ren getting closer. Because even if he couldn't sense Ren, Poe was open to him. He was torn. He wanted to get Ren back to the light, to save him from himself. Poe had missed him, a yearning built from childhood that blossomed quickly into love before it was torn apart by Ren.

“Smuggler. I can open myself to you. Show him.” Ren straightened his shoulders, brown eyes narrowing. “Show him my pain.”

Exhaling, he reached out with his mind as he felt Ren releasing his control.

Blood. Terror. Blackness. Beatings. Abuse. Betrayal. Whispers in the dark that had _always_ been there. The hurt he felt knocked him to his knees and he gasped as Ren swept into his mind, pressing hard on the churning storm within him. Because, despite the stabs of the Dark Side, the light still pulsed within him. Ren had never been able to fully let go of it. He could never fully give himself to the power of Vader that flowed in his veins. There was love in his heart that he longed to extinguish but still clung to, making him weak.

And then Grey saw another conflict within the man. The construction on the planet. The division of resources, going to a weapon that would dwarf the Death Star.

Tears were streaming down his face when he gasped back to himself, crumbling to the floor. He wrapped his arms around himself as he tried to breathe.

“Yeah,” he croaked. “Yeah, he’s telling the truth.”

To his surprise, a kind hand rubbed his back. Poe was kneeling next to him and Grey weakly looked up.

“He still loves you too,” Grey added, letting the tears flow harder. “There’s still good within him and all of that shit. You can trust him. I can…I can show you what I saw if you don’t trust me.”

“No, I saw what happened to you. I believe you.” The hand was still on his back and Poe gave him a small smile, one that tore at his tattered heart. As quickly it was there, he was robbed of it because Poe looked up at Ren. “What do we do? How do we stop it?”

The room was getting blurry and Grey felt the sudden urge to sleep wash over him.

And he was too weak to fight it.

-=-

He blinked awake in an empty bed. He still felt like he’d been hit by a freighter, but forced himself out of the bed. If he was alone, that meant he could get away and the nightmare would be over.

Of course he wouldn’t be quick enough.

Frozen by an invisible hand, he was turned to face Ren and his outstretched arm across the broad living room. "Going somewhere?"

He rolled his eyes. “I did what you wanted. Just let me fuck off and get back to my shit life.”

“Kylo, let him go.” Poe stepped in from the balcony, looking at him with more sympathy than he deserved. “How are you doing?”

It was dark outside. Ren had made him sleep so he could have Poe to himself.

“I don’t know. But I’d feel better if you let me get out of here so you guys can keep planning on how you’re going to stop that thing.” He felt the control over his body ebb away and he reflexively grabbed his kyber. Poe had put his hand on the small of Ren’s back. Grey’s grip tightened. “There’s nothing for me here.”

“I can train you,” Ren said, even though it looked like it pained him. “If I form a training bond with you, it would release me from my master. He’s holding back on completing my training because he senses the light that remains within me. I don’t need him to tell me I am weak anymore. It will take time, but I can truly find the light again. This is the start that I need right now.”

He swallowed, narrowing his eyes at the man. “So you get him in your bed and I just get my ass kicked by you in the ruins of a Jedi temple? How is any of that good for me?”

“Grey, come on,” Poe said, stepping from Kylo’s side to reach for him. “You want to change. I could feel that and so could…” He paused, giving him another soft look. “When you were in Kylo’s mind, he was in yours. We’ve all felt so alone. But we’re all here now and we can do some good in the galaxy. It’s just a start right now and we’re all going to fuck up from time to time, but if we go back to the Resistance with what we know, we can stop the First Order and then maybe…maybe life can stop kicking our asses for a bit.”

The air around him sparked with desire. He snapped his eyes to Ren. That fucker wanted them _both_ like the greedy prick he was. And he was tempting him with it. If he couldn’t get him with the idea of being a Jedi, or whatever, he’d be able to convince him with a good fuck.

And Poe wanted that too. He was trying to trust them both but worry remained: he was going to get stabbed in the back if he wasn't careful. But, like always, Poe was going to trust his heart. He was going to learn how to love this new version of Ben Solo, helping him heal and fully find the light. But he also didn't want to give up on him. Poe still saw good in the both of them like the idealistic idiot he was.

Fine, fuck it.

Pulling off his shirt, it tossed it and strode to the bedroom. “Are you guys coming or not?”

At least he knew how to manage a threesome. Those two bumblebutts would just be arms and legs everywhere if he didn’t guide them into how to have a good time.

Fucking would at least kill the lingering frustration and confusion in the back of his head. Poe somehow still loved him _or_ wanted to figure out how to love him. He'd brought back the man he'd thought he lost forever so that was a big plus for him. Ren loved Poe, clinging to his light as he wandered towards redemption from the darkness. All of those feelings were still in Ren even as he continued to war within himself. This wasn't going to be easy, especially since the First Order was out there, plotting to destroy the Republic. And now he was forced to care about it.

Naked and kneeling on the bed, he shut his eyes, steadying himself.

Okay.

His eyes snapped open when he felt Poe enter the room. “Do you really want this, Grey?”

He gestured at his erection. “Sure does look like I do.”

Poe smirked, slowly undoing his shirt. “Good. That’s a really good thing.”

Grey felt his pulse start racing when Ren stepped in, wrapping his arms around Poe’s waist. He tucked his chin against his shoulder, eyeing him as Poe sighed into the embrace. They’d missed one another. There was passion there and he was lucky enough to share a piece of it.

When he’d pulled off his shirt, he’d already decided that he was going to sneak out when they were passed out.

But until then, he could live in the moment.

Because Poe smiled brightly at him before turning in Kylo’s arms to pull him into a kiss. The sight caused a brief spike of jealousy but he pushed it down. Because, really, the feelings rolling off of the two men were going straight to his dick. Ren’s shields were in tatters and he caught the full brunt of how much he wanted them both.

He’d had it wrong all along. Ren wanted Poe to fuck _him,_ not the other way around. He wanted to give his body over to the man who had stolen his heart as a boy now that they were both men.

That giant body. Those strong thighs. Hearing Poe moan into the kiss spiked his arousal as Poe started guiding Ren towards the bed, tugging at his dark clothes. 

Grey took his chance, nipping at Poe’s bare neck the second the back of his legs hit the bedframe. If Ren wanted to have Poe’s dick in him, then Grey was going to show Poe how good it felt to fuck and be fucked at the same time.

He was the centre. He was the light. He had his rough edges and wasn't perfect but compared to them he was the best person in the galaxy.

A strong arm shot out and Ren gripped the back of his neck, drawing Grey into a kiss. With Poe in between them, he got a taste of Ren’s soft mouth. He kissed with more violence than Poe but Grey could also feel a touch of thanks from the other man’s mind. He’d sent him the mental image that he desperately shared.

He scooted up the bed, breaking the kiss. The distance finally knocked the other two men into finally getting fully undressed.

“Kriff,” he said, catching a full view of what Ren had been hiding under his robes. “Does the darkside make your dick bigger? I might be down with that.”

Poe reached out, wrapping his hand around Ren’s hardness as he met Grey’s eyes to smirk at him. “No, it’s just returning to the light that does this to him.” He turned his head back to Ren, kissing him slowly as he stroked him. “I missed you.”

Ren shuddered at the hand. “I missed you so much. Don’t let me fall again. Please, Poe. I need to escape that life.”

“We have a start tonight, Ben. We’ll figure it out.”

Leaning down, Ren gripped the back of his neck and pressed a harsh kiss against Poe’s mouth. But he had his eyes open and on Grey the entire time. He had half expected Ren to be awkward about this but he was pouring himself into having Poe against him. And he bled the thought into his mind with the look.

Okay, so maybe he avoided Force users for another reason now. This wasn’t just going to be sex. This was going to shred all of his senses into bits.

He shuddered as something heavily shifted in his mind, like a ship had just docked.

And Ren shut his eyes, guiding Poe onto the bed to press himself on top of him. And Grey could feel everything: the friction of their cocks meeting, the warmth of Poe’s mouth, the delicious power of pressing down on a wanting body beneath him.

Stroking himself wasn’t enough. He needed to get in there.

They were three bodies, suddenly joined when Ren brought him closer. He felt Poe’s desire flood the room and the Force swirled around them. He was on his knees and Ren put his beautiful mouth around his dick. And then Poe shifted up, starting to suck and stroke Ren off too.

Grey knew he was the one who moaned because he was the only one without a cock in his mouth.

Darkly, he didn’t want to know why Ren knew how to suck dick like this. The perfect amount of lips and slight brush of teeth. Ren ran his tongue along the pulsing vein on his shaft and Grey shuddered. 

Again, the teasing sensation in the back of his mind sprung to life because he could feel Ren’s pure enjoyment of getting blown by an equally skilled mouth beneath him. He was holding back from thrusting into Poe’s mouth, afraid of hurting the smaller man as well as coming too soon.

Okay, okay, okay.

It was time.

He nudged Kylo with his mind and the larger man popped off of his cock to nod.

And then someone giggled when they were finding the best position. To his utter disbelief, it came from Kylo. The hands and caresses were certain, but three people trying to find a good way to fuck one another always led to a moment when someone realized how stupid the whole thing was.

Grinning, he locked eyes with Poe. He was between him and Kylo and quickly covered his mouth to hold back a chuckle.

That made Grey break into laughter. The small sign of softness from Ren, along with that fucking body and cock, made him start to think that he could grow some feelings for him too. Really, if Poe loved him he couldn’t be a total asshole.

"I love you," Grey said with a sigh, pressing a light kiss to Poe's smiling face, pushing down the awkwardness in his chest. "Are you ready for this?"

Blinking Poe looked at the two of them and nodded. “You’re both…you both really feel that way about me? This is…I’m starting to think I’m hallucinating. You’re both here. You’re both really here and…”

Ren was tracing lazy circles on Poe’s soft thigh, arching his fingers towards his cock in the ministrations. “This is for you, my pilot. Tonight, we can have this. And tomorrow we can deal with the rest of the galaxy.”

In other words, the two of them should shut up so they could get to the fucking.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

When they were ready, when the giggles were finally gone and they were thoroughly coating the bedsheets in lube, he felt Kylo's joy and arousal explode into the fire of a sun when Poe entered him. He was leaning back, kissing Grey over his shoulder as Poe slowly started fucking Kylo. He'd needed this. He'd wanted this. This slow lovemaking was something that they would share without him at some point and he was fine with it. Watching and feeling the entire thing was better than anything Grey's imagination could kick up.

And then Grey put his hands on Poe's hips and gently entered him, breaching his entrance with pure need.

That got another wash of pleasure as Poe started fucking himself as he slowly kept pumping his own dick into Kylo.

Finally giving up on using his mind, Grey surrendered to the invisible lightning that was flooding the room. His body was humming in time with the other two heartbeats in the room as heat spread throughout his body. Poe's tight and joyful body, Kylo's desperate need to chase away the darkness, and Grey's own passion all blurred together until he didn't know where his body began and his mind ended.

Supernova.

That was his last thought as everything burst in his chest as he came. Poe shuddered next to him, gripping his hip as he broke from kissing Kylo to call out something in a language he didn’t understand.

A different sort of orgasm, one built completely in his head but drawn from a deep and raw passion that only a broken soul could possess, flooded him suddenly. His eyes wouldn’t focus but he saw Kylo in his mind and felt him lose himself too.

They only had to collectively bleed an ounce of their energy into Poe’s mind and he was screaming in an instant, lost in the both of them.

Despite being sweaty and shaky, despite not being able to feel his toes, there was a clear pulse of _love_ and _forever_ coming from Poe.

He locked eyes with Kylo again as he shifted up, stroking his hand through Poe’s hair as he smiled and sighed, unable to form real words.

Kylo lightly pressed on his mind. _If you sneak out in the middle of the night and break his heart, I will hunt you down and skin you alive._

 _‘Kay. Roger that,_ he shot back. _He kind of likes my skin being on me and I’m sort of attached to it too._

 _Then we have an understanding._ Kylo was in his head even as he turned to gather Poe up until his arms, kissing his forehead. “We need to sleep now.”

“Too happy to sleep,” Poe mumbled, burrowing his head against Kylo’s broad chest. “What in the hell was that? What did you guys do to me?”

Stroking his hand down Poe’s back, Grey sat up. “It’s just the Force.”

“It was the will of the Force,” Kylo said, glancing up at him. “The Force wanted you to have that orgasm.”

“Fuck, I love the Force.”

They cuddled in the afterglow until they had the collective thought of how they reeked of sex and the bed was an utter mess. And it was too warm. And sticky. He’d slept like this before but he could feel Kylo’s annoyance building.

Grey let the two lovers use the sonic and he begrudgingly changed the sheets before wandering to the fresher.

The sonic was still filling the room with steam, but Kylo had Poe on the counter, kissing him slowly from between his legs, whispering how much he'd missed him. Smirking, Grey left them to it, rinsing himself off as quickly as he could so he could get to sleep.

Poe caught his hand when he tried to walk by them.

“Hey, Grey?”

He turned, locking eyes first with Kylo, then with Poe. “Yeah?”

“Don’t, um. Don’t sneak out in the middle of the night. We both need you. Okay?” He raised his eyebrows, begging him. “We’ll all leave together tomorrow.”

“’Kay.” He promised again.

He still woke up in the middle of the night, shifting out of Poe’s arms to leave him alone with Kylo so they could have their perfect life.

 _You can’t leave_. Ren’s voice pushed into his mind as he was reaching for his trousers.

Glancing at the bed, he met his eyes. _I can do whatever I want. You’ve got him. He loves you. I’ll just be in the way._

 _We’ve formed a bond, apprentice. I will always be able to find you._ Kylo was really pleased with himself about this. _And his heart is big enough to love us both, no matter how broken we are._

Sighing, Grey dared to glance at the door, then back at the bed. _Do I really have to call you master?_

 _I would prefer it._ Kylo narrowed his eyes. _But you can do what pleases you the most. Now come back to bed._

He really didn’t have a choice.

But maybe, he was done with being a scumbag for the first time in his life.

And it would be kind of wizard to build a lightsaber.


End file.
